IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a countries success, while others think that other factors can be used to measure a countries success. What are these Factors? Which do you think are most important?

Many individuals believe that the only way to measure the success of a
country
Use synonyms
 is if it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 an advanced economy or not.
However
Linking Words
, others think that there are other essential criteria.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
this
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 topic,
provides
Wrong verb form
provide
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 the most effective
factors
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 that need to be taken to measure the success of a
country
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,
in addition
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of
Change preposition
to
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 what are the most important
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
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 of them. One of the
factors
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 that should be taken to assess the development of a
country
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 is the quality of
education
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 for children.
Children
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Children's
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education
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 is the most important aspect of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developed countries, because they are the
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
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 who lead the
country
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 in the future, and work to improve its economy.
Furthermore
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, the availability of medical services is another essential aspect of the developed nation as it shows how much
is
Verb problem
apply
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the government cares about the residents.
Also
Linking Words
, the low rate of unemployment is an important indicator. I believe that the most significant
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factors
Fix the agreement mistake
factor
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 to assess the progress of a
country
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 is the level of
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
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education
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 system. School quality can affect the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 of the children, who will be the future
leader
Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
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 of the
country
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.
That
Verb problem
That's
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 why the school needs to make
Correct article usage
a
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comprehsive
Correct your spelling
comprehensive
 curriculum,
in addition
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of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 employing professional teachers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 can teach the kids appropriately.
Moreover
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, the health services
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a significant part of the measurement. An advanced health care system is essential to ensure that the future of the citizens is protected from any dangers.
To conclude
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, there are different
factors
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 that need to be involved in the assessment of an advanced nation, but the most significant ones of them are the health-care services and good
education
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.

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task response
Plan your essay with a clear view on the main idea. State your view in the first line and stick to it. Then add two or three main points with a short reason for each.
language
Use simple and correct grammar. Fix errors like 'has' with 'have', and use 'education' not 'education for children'. Use 'in addition to' instead of 'in addition of'.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with a clear topic sentence and end with a word that links to the next idea.
development
Give a small example for each idea. Do not repeat the same point. Try to add a fact or example that fits the point.
language
Check your spelling and word use. Use the same form for words like 'health care' or 'healthcare'.
structure
The intro states a view and lists factors.
coherence
Some linking words connect ideas well.
content
The essay notes education and health as key factors.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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