IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Natural catastrophes have become more frequent and severe as a result of population development and increased human concentration in natural environments. What are the problems and potential solutions to this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The graph shows data regarding
participants
Use synonyms
 who have joined
olympic
Fix capitalization
Olympic
show examples
 since it began.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
show examples
 it can be
say
Wrong verb form
said
show examples
 that in the beginning stage largest male
participants
Use synonyms
 were observed, but
at the end
Linking Words
 of
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
period
Punctuation problem
period,
show examples
 both genders
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 close
number
Use synonyms
,
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
participants
Use synonyms
 reached to 12000
over
Check wording
participants over
show examples
 the period of time. At the beginning of the olympic The male athletes were just below 4000 in the year 1924, on opposite of that female
participants
Use synonyms
 were just under quarter, but male athletes experienced sudden increase accounting for exact half of 6000 in 1964 and reached to just over 6000 in 2004, female
number
Use synonyms
 increased gradually upto 2000 in 1984
then
Linking Words
, sharply jumped to just below 6000, in 2004. The total
number
Use synonyms
 of players
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 just below 4000 at the beginning
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 slightly increased
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 was 8000, followed by
sudden
Correct article usage
a sudden
show examples
 sharp
in
Check wording
increase in
show examples
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of athletes
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 accounted
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 12000
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Intro/Overview
Give a short opening line that says what the chart shows.
Structure
Put ideas in order. Talk about men first, then women, then total.
Linking/Coherence
Use clear time cues like 'in 1924', 'in 1964', 'in 2004'.
Language
Check grammar to fix errors like 'are just under quarter' which should be 'just under a quarter'.
Task Response
Add a short end line to sum the data.
Strength
The piece shows the general idea that men are higher at start and total ends near.
Strength
Data from the chart is used in places.
Strength
The writer tries to cover the main points of the graph.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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