IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

it is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There has been increasing debate over the importance of saving
money
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 in their future. Many arguments say that saving is an excellent method to build up financial habits, so
people
Use synonyms
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 curb their monthly expenditure. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
because
Punctuation problem
because,
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naturally
Add a comma
naturally,
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 humans have infinite desire;
thus
Linking Words
, consistently making up savings would help humans to limit their desire. First of all, there is a phase of a person being able to make
money
Use synonyms
, which is called
a
Correct article usage
the
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productive-age
Use the right word
productive age
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, around 17 to 60 years old. Under 17
people
Use synonyms
 tend to focus on developing their skills before entering society, and more
people
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 over 60 choose to retire and enjoy their earnings for 30 years of their work-life. In the productive-age
era
Add a comma
era,
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 someone has the ability to attempt a lot of chances to make as much
money
Use synonyms
 as they can.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 are able to take a main job as a stable income resource in the company for 8 working hours per day, and in the
after-hour
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after-hours
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 could be used to do a hustle job to earn more and make family time. In
this
Linking Words
 phase of
life
Add a comma
life,
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people
Use synonyms
 should manage their finances as
responsible
Replace the word
responsibly
show examples
 as possible so when they
retire
Punctuation problem
retire,
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 they have the ability to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 their daily needs without making their children a sandwich generation. Another important point is
building
Correct word choice
that building
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 up savings might be a reserve capital for someone to build multiple wealth.
For instance
Linking Words
, someone saving up 3000 dollars in a bank deposit with 6% interest per year, after 5
he
Check wording
years he
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 earns 900 dollars from his bank deposit, so when he
chases
Verb problem
cashes
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 out his bank deposit the total amount of
money
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 becomes 3900 dollars.
To conclude
Linking Words
, to set aside
money
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 not only to be used as our savings in the future, it
Linking Words
also could
Correct word order
could also
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 be a capital to build wealth, so with
a
Correct article usage
apply
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great
responsibility financial
Correct word order
financial responsibility
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 habits
people
Use synonyms
 have
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
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 to avoid their children as a sandwich generation and
inherent
Use the right word
inherit
show examples
 their wealth for them.

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task response
State your view clearly in the intro. This essay says yes well, but add one clear line to show how saving helps in life.
coherence cohesion
Make one idea per paragraph and start each with a plain sentence. Use simple linking words to show how ideas go from one to the next.
grammar
Keep lines short. Use easy words. Fix long or odd phrases, and check for any wrong word use.
task response
A clear view is shown in the intro.
coherence
Easy sign posts help the reader follow the plan: First of all, Another important point, To conclude.
content
Some real examples about saving and interest are used.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
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