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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below the poverty line in three states in the USA. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below the poverty line in three states in the USA. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table below provides the key information on the poverty line in the USA .It includes three states : California, Utah and Florida .
Also
Linking Words
, it includes four items
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 under 18, over 60, the average income per person, and the population below the poverty line. The units are measured in percentages and
dollars
Use synonyms
. The table
organised
Verb problem
is organised
show examples
 clearly.
Overall
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, in terms of the highest
level
Use synonyms
, the highest number was provided in Utrah,
while
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 the lowest number of
dollars
Use synonyms
 was provided in Ultra. On the one hand,
according to
Linking Words
 the given data, in terms of the highest percentages and
dollars
Use synonyms
. The highest
level
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 of percentage was shown in Ultra, in under 18, at about 23%,
while
Linking Words
 the highest
level
Use synonyms
 of
dollars
Use synonyms
 was shown in California, at almost 23000
dollars
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the given data, in terms of the lowest percentages and
dollars
Use synonyms
. The lowest
level
Use synonyms
 of percentage was shown in Ultra,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 over 60, at almost 8%,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
level
Use synonyms
 of
dollars
Use synonyms
 was shown in Ultra, at almost 17000
dollars
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words dollars, level with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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