IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Human activities have a negative effect on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem. Other people believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, the topic of natural
species
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 has emerged as a matter of significant concern to the general public.
While
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 some individuals argue that we can do anything when it comes to the preservation of
plants
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 and animal
species
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 harmed by human activities, I firmly assert that there is still a wide range of straightforward measures that can be taken.
This
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 essay aims to provide
comprehensive
Correct article usage
a comprehensive
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 analysis of these differing viewpoints. On the one hand, it is understandable to acknowledge why the public claims that a negative effect on
plants
Use synonyms
 and animal
species
Use synonyms
 cannot be fixed.
Initially
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, a variety of
species
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 lost their natural home
due to
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 human activities.
This
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 leads to the extinction of many
species
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, especially as it has a huge influence on endangered
species
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.
Moreover
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, even if we avoid damaging
a
Correct article usage
the
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 natural environment, the catastrophic impact of climate change is inevitable.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that the rising sea level and greenhouse gas
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 brought a lot of adverse issues to our planet.
On the other hand
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, it is essential to
recognize
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recognise
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 that there are various potential strategies we can implement to save
plants
Use synonyms
 and animal
species
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,
as well as
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 our habitat.
Initially
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, it is noteworthy that we should raise our awareness
on
Change preposition
of
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 the role some
species
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 are playing in balancing biodiversity nowadays.
Furthermore
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, the government should enact laws to preserve them. Through the numerous conservation efforts,
however
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, illegal hunting and poaching are still prevalent, taking risks in the safety of some
species
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. Ultimately, the community should take responsibility for our actions,
such
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 as a wide range of pollution, our footprints and so on. By working together, governments,
organizations
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organisations
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, and individuals can find sustainable solutions to preserve biodiversity. In conclusion, an analysis highlights the complexities between human beings and natural homes nowadays. On one hand, several impacts on
plants
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 and animals are inevitable,
such
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 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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extinction
or
Correct word choice
and
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 climate change.
By contrast
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, there are still opportunities to save them by raising our awareness, enacting laws, and taking responsibility for our actions.
This
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 essay prompts the public to consider their own experiences to take the right actions.

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task response
State your view clearly at the start and keep it through the essay.
task response
Show one or two clear examples to prove each point.
coherence
Use simple links to join ideas, like 'and', 'but', 'so', 'also'.
coherence
Divide the essay into small parts: one idea per paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling; fix errors like 'have brought' and improve sentence form.
cohesion
Uses 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand' to show both sides.
structure
Has an intro and a conclusion that show a view.
content
Gives many ideas on what to do to save species.
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