IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 era, successfully
balance
Wrong verb form
balancing
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 a healthy lifestyle is extraordinarily challenging. A large population has a tendency to become more unhealthy physically and mentally each day. There are strong reasons why the acceptable standards of people’s health are increasing. Nowadays, the digital realm has an essential impact on
decision making
Use the right word
decision-making
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 since it creates easy dopamine
intake
Punctuation problem
intake,
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nonetheless
Linking Words
 scrolling through social media.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 we tend to select the easiest and most practical option even though we are aware of the poor consequences on our body. The quintessential is instant noodles, they’re shockingly fast and delicious
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 it demands a strong
will power
Use the right word
willpower
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 to reject
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. Another remarkable reason
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 creates unhealthy micro habits is the money-oriented mindset. People who make the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of their lives about making money and
overconsommation
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
 can be mistaken about priorities. They’re supposed to put their well-being
first,
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
 as quality sleeping,
socializing
Change the spelling
socialising
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 and balanced nutrition.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it is common for them to work excessively long hours and face challenging levels of stress.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the advances that it brings alongside the
modernizing
Change the spelling
modernising
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 world directly affect human health. In spite of being useful, facilitating human life and putting everything in front of him began to affect
badly
Correct pronoun usage
him badly
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. It’s possible that we will find the solution to return to nature. It’s an obligation to spread awareness and distinguish the healthy options.

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task achievement
State your view clearly. The task asks if health in the future will be higher or lower. Give a clear agree or disagree.
structure
Make a plan: short intro, 2-3 ideas, short conclusion.
language
Use only simple words. Check for spelling and grammar. Avoid hard or long words.
content
Add real facts or examples to back ideas, such as a daily routine or data.
cohesion
Use linking words to show link between ideas (but, also, however, first, next).
content
Some ideas touch the topic well.
structure
There is a plan with points about digital use and stress.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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