IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables show the populations of eight capital and eight provincial cities in 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables show the populations of eight capital and eight provincial cities in 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table illustrates the percentage of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in five countries (Australia,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, New Zealand, China, and
Holland
Check wording
the Netherlands
show examples
) in terms of people who live in
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
 and live in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart gives the information about the general proportion of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in these countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, in 1999, the majority of
Chines
Use the right word
Chinese
show examples
 lived in the City,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australian
Fix the agreement mistake
Australians
show examples
 who stayed in the city were
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to other countries. In 1999, there were almost all of China's
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 were in the capital (with 99%),
while
Linking Words
 New
Zealander
Fix the agreement mistake
Zealanders
show examples
 and
British
Use the right word
Britons
show examples
 followed in the second and third place, with the
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 90% and 89%, respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the percentage of
Australian
Use the right word
Australians
show examples
 and Dutch who lived in the countryside
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 slightly higher than others
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 20% and 17% of each.
However
Linking Words
, the number of
Australian
Fix the agreement mistake
Australians
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the biggest population
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to others with 73%. Meanwhile,
British was
Verb problem
Britons
show examples
 were only 7%, followed by New
Zealander
Fix the agreement mistake
Zealanders
show examples
, and Chinese with 3% and 2%, respectively.
While
Linking Words
 the Dutch only had 1% proportion, the other had14%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • population
  • capital cities
  • provincial cities
  • figure
  • highest
  • lowest
  • disparity
  • regional distribution
  • trends
  • patterns
  • implications
  • population distribution
  • summarize
  • analyze
  • compare
  • conclude
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