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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it’s appropriate for children to learn a foreign language in primary school. Does the advantage of this outweigh its disadvantage?

Some individuals argue that encouraging
children
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 to learn a foreign
language
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 at their preschool
age
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 is beneficial. I believe that the advantages are far more significant because learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 at a younger
age
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 helps them in many future aspects.
To begin
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 with, if
children
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 learn a foreign
language
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 early, they can explore many useful opportunities in the future,
such
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 as better job prospects and easier migration options.
Moreover
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, nowadays obtaining a student visa involves several challenges because some countries require applicants to have basic knowledge of the country’s
language
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.
Therefore
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, if
children
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 learn a foreign
language
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 at an early
age
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, it will help them secure visas more easily.
For example
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, the German government introduced a rule that requires foreign students to know basic German when applying for a study visa.
Nevertheless
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, despite these benefits, there are some drawbacks as well. If
children
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 adopt a foreign
language
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 at a young
age
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, it can expose them excessively to foreign cultures, which might negatively affect their own cultural identity.
For instance
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, many young people today admire Western fashion styles, which sometimes leads them to adopt inappropriate dressing habits that do not align with their cultural norms.
Moreover
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, some young people have even forgotten
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
 clothing worn by their mothers. In conclusion,
although
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 learning a foreign
language
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 offers a wide range of advantages, its disadvantages should not be overlooked. A balanced approach is essential to maximise its benefits
while
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 minimising potential drawbacks.

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content
State your view in the first line and keep a clear stand all through.
development
Add more strong ideas and explain why they matter. Give more detail for each idea.
language
Use only simple words and short, direct sentences to stay in a basic style.
organization
Make the second point flow more with the first and stay on the main topic.
grammar
Check small grammar and form: tense, plural, and punctuation.
structure
Clear order with an intro, body and conclusion.
cohesion
Good use of linking words to show the flow of ideas.
content
The view is shown and a balance is noted at the end.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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