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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples.

The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples.
The data below presents the results of a survey on
happiness
Use synonyms
raitings
Correct your spelling
ratings
 for married and unmarried individuals in the US, and the impact of children on the
overall
Linking Words
raitings
Correct your spelling
ratings
 of married
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
married people have
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
Use synonyms
precentige
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
happiness
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 than unmarried
, despite
Check wording
people, despite
show examples
 their
age
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.
Thoue
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Though
 for the
couples
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 that are married
their
Punctuation problem
, their
show examples
happines
Correct your spelling
happiness
 level is the same no matter their children. The people who are married have the same
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precentige
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
happines
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happiness
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is 40% - 45%, no matter their
age
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, the number stays the same. The
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precentige
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
happiness
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 for unmarried
couples
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 who are in the
age
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 between 18 to 64 stays between 21% to 22%. For the unmarried
couples
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 who are at the
age
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 of 65 and over, their
happiness
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 is higher compared to the other younger unmarried
couples
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, staying at 34%, but not overcoming the
procentige
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of married
couples
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. For
couples
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 that are married, the
Use synonyms
precentige
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of those who have
kids
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 or who don't
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
doesnt
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doesn't
 differ. Those who have
kids
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 under the
age
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 of 18 and over the
age
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 of 18 , the
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precentige
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
happiness
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 is at 41% to 44%,
thoue
Correct your spelling
though
 the
couples
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 that don't have
kids
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 have the
raiting
Correct your spelling
rating
 of 43%, which
stand
Correct subject-verb agreement
stands
show examples
 in the middle between the
couples
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 who have
kids
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words happiness, precentige, age, couples, kids with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "stays" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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