IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People
Use synonyms
 think that the authorities should pay for
course
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fees
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 for everybody who wants to study at
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university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it can give the poor
students
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 a chance to prove themself. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I'll explain why I agree and give my reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, lots of families don't have enough for tuition
fees
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 or
course
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fees
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due to
Linking Words
 their situation. So if the government decides to pay for
course
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fees
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lots
Punctuation problem
, lots
show examples
 of
people
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 who lack money
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will have the opportunity to become what they want, which will spike the
students
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' success rate.
Furthermore
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, when they are done with
university
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, there is a high chance of them getting a job in the
country
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 that supported them.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 helps the
country
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 with population growth and finance.
Secondly
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,
people
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 globally would want to study in that
country
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 , which is considered
as
Correct word choice
both
show examples
 a bad and a good thing. Because it would be costly throughout the years. And attract lots of
people
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 into the
country
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.
Finally
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, an experiment has been conducted by the
University
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 of UCSI about paying for everyone's
course
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fees
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 for a year.
As a result
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, all of their
students
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' scores increased significantly.
In other words
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, the worries about money held their full potential.
Thus
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, it attracted many
students
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 to the
university
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To sum up
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, if a student has too much stress in his life
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
show examples
 in
university
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, it will lower their potential.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 is why the government should pay for
course
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 for anyone who wants to study in college.

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task response
Show a clear view in the start and stay with 2 or 3 main points. Explain how each point supports your view.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words. Use basic join words like and, but, so, also, for example. Make sure each point leads to the next.
content validity
Keep to the task. Do not add too many new facts. Check the facts you state and give a real example or avoid it.
strength
Intro shows stance; conclusion restates view.
strength
Some linking of ideas and an example is used.
strength
The essay tries to use real example in one part.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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