t is said that the amount of violence in TV programs has negative effects on our social development and therefore should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Children have presented parents with a number of challenges and decisions, none of which are too rudimentary to ignore.
However
Linking Words
, guiding them towards the correct path is the crux of the matter in
this
Linking Words
modern world.
While
Linking Words
some argue
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
number of
programs
Use synonyms
that broadcast violent content has increased significantly,
this
Linking Words
can pose a threat to children’s mental health. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
view, as they are constantly bombarded with
such
Linking Words
programs
Use synonyms
, which involve them in violent tendencies.
Firstly
Linking Words
, television plays a significant role in educating people, especially schoolchildren. To clarify, people got used to spending long hours in front of a TV.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they are getting inundated with a wide variety of information. If these kinds of
programs
Use synonyms
are full of aggressive
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, it is no wonder they encourage them to mimic
such
Linking Words
wrong features.
For example
Linking Words
, some kids who play video games for long hours may suffer from some mental disorders,
such
Linking Words
as aggression, tension, and antisocial
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, since many games force them to help their characters kick, stab, and shout, which not only endangers their mental health, but
also
Linking Words
society as a whole.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it has a lot of negative effects on their social skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, students are too young to distinguish between real and imaginary worlds.
As a result
Linking Words
, they think violence is the norm, not an unacceptable feature. In
this
Linking Words
way, they are more likely to repeat it in society, causing them to lose their friends and stop them from
socializing
Change the spelling
socialising
show examples
with others, since individuals are not willing to continue their relationships with angry people. In conclusion, no one dares to deny the importance of the media in community education. I believe
this
Linking Words
is the most important responsibility of high-ranking officials to pass strict laws to supervise TV
programs
Use synonyms
, like cartoons, films, and even documentaries. Aside from protecting the young’s mental health, it can make society a better place to live by placing a high value on the most vulnerable sections of the community.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response: State your view clearly and give more real facts or proof. Add counter ideas and show why your view is correct.
coherence
Coherence: Use more linking words and sign posts to show how ideas connect. Keep one idea per paragraph and end each with a clear link to the next.
reasoning
Ideas: Give more clear and specific examples about TV violence and how it affects kids. Use real numbers or studies if possible.
lexical
Lexis: Use simple and exact words. Avoid long and tricky phrases that can confuse. Use 'such as', 'for example', 'in this way' with care.
grammar
Grammar: Check sentence order. Use simple sentences mainly. Use a mix of short and medium length to avoid long run-ons.
stance
The writer states a clear position.
organization
It uses 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' to show points.
relevance
The ending asks for action in policy terms.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: