IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using modern technology in the workplace.”

Nowadays, a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 use modern technology in their
work
Use synonyms
. They use it in different areas
from
Punctuation problem
, from
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 medicine and offices to
service
Correct article usage
the service
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 sector. In my opinion, technology really changed the way
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
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,
due to
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this
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fact
Add a comma
fact,
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 many areas now can offer new employment options.
However
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, there are some disadvantages that I have noticed, so in
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I am going to show them. Changes that have been caused by modern technology we can see everywhere, employees
work
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 faster , easier and have more opportunities.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 it brings some disadvantages as losing some jobs, especially where manual labour is required.
For instance
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, now we need
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
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 workers
on
Change preposition
in
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field
Correct article usage
the field
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 and
farms
Change preposition
on farms
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that
Correct word choice
than
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 it was. Because using machines is more productive and cheaper.
This
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 can
also
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 be seen in various factories and in construction.
On the other hand
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,
while
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 it is probably complicated and not so comfortable
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people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 still develop their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
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 by learning new skills and trying to correspond to
actual
Correct article usage
the actual
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 demands of the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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 market. Machines are created by someone
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
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 to be serviced.
Therefore
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, new machines
suggests
Correct subject-verb agreement
suggest
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 new working places that will not
let
Verb problem
leave
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people
Use synonyms
 without
work
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. Innovations
such
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 as AI may replace some professions
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 still, developers, programmers and some other
specialties
Change the spelling
specialities
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 that will appear because of
this
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 invention will help
people
Use synonyms
 find their own place. In conclusion, I can say that
this
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 issue has different aspects, and each of them should be mentioned to achieve the best progress in any area.

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structure
Plan before you write. Start with a short plan sentence, then a short view. Use clear paragraphs for each idea. End with a short conclusion repeating your view.
grammar
Check grammar and fix small errors. Use 'the field' not 'on field'. Make 'although it is' and other phrases complete.
style
Use simple, direct sentences. Avoid long, hard phrases. Use common verbs.
cohesion
Link ideas with words like firstly, also, however, in addition. This helps flow.
structure
There is a clear plan with intro and conclusion.
content
You discuss both sides of the topic.
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