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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows prediction about the number of people who will study three major world languages between 2020 and 2030. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparision where relevant.

The graph below shows prediction about the number of people who will study three major world languages between 2020 and 2030. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparision where relevant.
This
Linking Words
 line graph compares the
number
Use synonyms
 of students who will learn English, Spanish or
Mandarin
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 in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future until 2030.
Overall
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, the usage of Spanish and
Mandarin
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 shows steady rising, but that of English slightly
fluctutes
Correct your spelling
fluctuates
, but increases in the end. In detail, the
number
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 of people who will study
Mandarin
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 is about 100
million
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 in 2020, and keeps going up between 300,000,000 to 400,000,000 until 2026. After that, there is a significant jump to
hlaf
Correct your spelling
half
 a billion for 2 years.
As a result
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, the final estimated figure of
Mandarin
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 learners is below six hundred
million
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 in 2030.
Next,
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Spanish users are a little more than 0.2 billion, and they will increase to around 300
million
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 in 2022. Their growth is observed at the same speed from 2022 to 2028, and their final
number
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 is below 500
million
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 in 2030.
Lastly
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, students of English are recorded at over 500
million
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, and reach a peak point in 2024, which is at 700
million
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.
However
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, the
number
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 of them drops to above 600
million
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 for 2 years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it keeps an upward trend until 2030, which is ranked as the most studied language among them
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
at
Change preposition
with
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 more than 700
million
Use synonyms
.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, mandarin, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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