There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The issue of whether creative curricula should be

canceled

Change the spelling

cancelled

show examples

due to

Linking Words

lots of pressure on academic

subjects

Use synonyms

among

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation has raised public

concentration

Check wording

concern

show examples

. Some

people

Use synonyms

claim that these non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

are supposed to be abolished in order to make children concentrate more on academic tasks. From my perspective, I disagree with

this

Linking Words

view.

To begin

Linking Words

with,

such

Linking Words

creative courses

Linking Words

such

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

as physical education play a vital role in shaping students’ soft

skills

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it sometimes needs to do exercises as a team, which enhances students’ abilities

Change preposition

show examples

teamwork, competition, leadership and communication.

For example

Linking Words

basketball

Correct article usage

a basketball

show examples

competition

evolves

Verb problem

involves

show examples

five members

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

as long as they cooperate with each other, trust their team members, they may win the game.

Therefore

Linking Words

, physical education

teach

Correct subject-verb agreement

teaches

show examples

young

people

Use synonyms

how to work as a team and

promote

Correct subject-verb agreement

promotes

show examples

their communication ability, which they may not learn from academic

subjects

Use synonyms

. What’s more, through physical exercises, it can

also

Linking Words

improve

students

Check wording

students'

show examples

health.

Only

Rephrase

Not only

show examples

do young

people

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have robust bodies ,

they

Correct word choice

but they

show examples

can

concentrate

Rephrase

also concentrate

show examples

on academic courses better. In terms of cookery, it is necessary to cultivate

people

Use synonyms

’s life

skills

Use synonyms

and hands-on ability. One major reason is that these

subjects

Use synonyms

can motivate

students

Check wording

students'

show examples

interest, thereby promoting their hands-on

skills

Use synonyms

. A clear example is that if

people

Use synonyms

possess

Correct article usage

the

show examples

ability

on cooking

Change preposition

to cook

show examples

, they can support themselves and

family

Correct pronoun usage

their family

show examples

. What’s more, cookery is able to improve

students

Check wording

students'

show examples

physical

skills

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

its complex process.

Thus

Linking Words

, the creative curricula contribute to

foster

Replace the word

fostering

show examples

young

Use synonyms

people

Check wording

people's

show examples

physical

skills

Use synonyms

and life

skills

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation has

heavy

Correct article usage

a heavy

show examples

burden on academic

subjects

Use synonyms

, the creative courses

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

integrated for

comprehensive

Correct article usage

the comprehensive

show examples

development of young

people

Use synonyms

. Both academic and non-academic

subjects

Use synonyms

should complement each other.

chunyanh502

Nov 10, 2025

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organization

Plan your writing with a clear map: intro, two body parts (one idea each), and a short end.

task response

Say your view at once and restate it in the end.

content

Give stronger and more exact examples for each point.

coherence

Use linking words to join ideas, like 'also', 'in addition', 'for example'.

language

Keep sentences short and use plain words.

grammar

Check grammar, such as subject-verb and article use.

style

Avoid long phrases and hard words; use common words.

conclusion

End with a clear restate of your view.

content

Clear view against removing non-academic subjects.

content

Good examples for PE and cookery.

structure

Intro, body, and conclusion are present.

coherence

Some linking words help the flow of ideas.

content

Shows the value of non-academic work.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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