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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The three pie charts show
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 proportion of expenditure spent by a particular UK school in five different categories (Insurance, Teachers'
salaries
Use synonyms
,
Furniture
Use synonyms
 and Equipment,
Resources
Use synonyms
, and other worker
salaries
Use synonyms
) between 1981 and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the highest amount of money was spent on
Teacher’s
Check wording
teachers’
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
on
Verb problem
was on
show examples
 Insurance. Meanwhile, expenses on other
worker’s
Check wording
workers’
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
,
Resources
Use synonyms
 and
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Furniture
Use synonyms
 and equipment varied
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
all the time. The
Teacher’s
Check wording
teachers’
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
 were distributed just under half of the total expenses
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 exactly half
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 40% in 1981, 50% in 1991 and 45% in 2001.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Insurance was lowest with 2% in 1981
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased by only 1% in 1991 and jumped to 8% in 2001. The school spent
on
Correct word order
more on
show examples
 other
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 annually
more
Correct word order
apply
show examples
in 1981,
then
Linking Words
 it
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gradually dropped to 22% in 1991 and 15% in 2001.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there was fluctuation
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 both
resources
Use synonyms
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 books and
furniture
Use synonyms
 and equipment
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 1981 to 2001. A huge
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 was seen when
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 invested in
Furniture
Use synonyms
 by 15% in 1981, 5% in 1991 and 23% in 2001.
However
Linking Words
,
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
percent
Use the right word
percentage of
show examples
 expenses was spent on
Resources
Use synonyms
 as
Furniture
Use synonyms
 at first
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 later it was increased to 20% in 1991 and dramatically declined to 9% in 2001.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries, furniture, resources with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Annual spending
  • Expenditure categories
  • Allocation
  • Trend analysis
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Budget allocation strategy
  • Inflation-adjusted
  • Future implications
  • Educational institutions
  • Technological resources
  • Maintenance and operations
  • Comparative analysis
  • Fiscal management
  • Resource allocation
  • Strategic planning
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