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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in опе country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information Ьу selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where re/evant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in опе country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information Ьу selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where re/evant.
The line graph illustrates the number of
shops
Use synonyms
 that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been closed and the contrast data in a country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be referred that the closures of
shops
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 more fluctuation than the launch of new ones.
Additionally
Linking Words
, closed
shops
Use synonyms
 are more prevalent towards the end of the period. Taking a closer look at the shutdowns of
stores
Use synonyms
, it started from around 6500
shops
Use synonyms
, the
stastistic
Correct your spelling
statistic
 fluctuated for 2 years
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 7000
stores
Use synonyms
 in 2013. In the following
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 the closures
drops
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 dramatically to approximately 500
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
However
Linking Words
, had an
up trend
Use the right word
uptrend
show examples
 after that and
stop
Wrong verb form
stopped
show examples
 at a bit more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 5000 in 2018.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the birth of
stores
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
started
Verb problem
marked
show examples
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a significant decrease from almost 8500
stores
Use synonyms
 being opened to less than 4000 in the following year. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it
rises
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 gradually to more than 6000
stores
Use synonyms
 in 2014.
Next
Punctuation problem
Next,
show examples
 the
stastistic
Correct your spelling
statistic
 declines
stably
Rephrase
steadily
show examples
 until 2018 at 3000
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
making
Verb problem
surpassing
show examples
 the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of terminated
stores
Use synonyms
 surpassed it.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, stores with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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