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Writing Samples
Band 3

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advanatges of taking risks outweigh the disadvanatges ?

Risk
Use synonyms
 is defined as the likelihood of an uncertain or harmful event happening. The question is, how much of that harm and
uncertainity
Correct your spelling
uncertainty
 are we willing to
ration with
Verb problem
accept
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? What is the extent to which we are able to reflect upon our threshold,
that is
Linking Words
, the level
in
Change preposition
at
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 which we
are
Verb problem
apply
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allow ourselves to experience the consequences, be it detrimental or favourable, of course, if any. The human brain has evolved in ways that can tell danger from safety, almost instantaneously.
This
Linking Words
 gives the members of the homo-sapien species the benefit of being able to calculate the
risk
Use synonyms
,
that is
Linking Words
, rationalising the pros and cons. When the pros
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the cons, that
therefore
Linking Words
 makes the
risk
Use synonyms
justfiable
Correct your spelling
justifiable
.
This
Linking Words
 is perhaps reflected in an
individuals
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individual's
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 attempt to leave their stable job, in pursuit of establishing their business. The person resigning has already
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweighed
 their gains and losses. They are aware that by creating their own business, there is a chance of obtaining independence and
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 income.
This
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 means that they are willing to
loose
Use the right word
lose
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 their stable income and comfort.
This
Linking Words
 makes the gains
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the losses,
therefore
Linking Words
 making the
risk
Use synonyms
 justifiable .
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
change
Use synonyms
 is a
pre-requisite
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prerequisite
show examples
 for obtaining excellence, or getting a step closer towards it. For
change
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 to occur, taking on
risk
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 becomes an imperative in achieving that objective. The greatest discovery has started by the thirst for
change
Use synonyms
,
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
risk
Use synonyms
,
forms
Correct pronoun usage
which forms
show examples
 the first step in achieving that
change
Use synonyms
, be it positive or negative.

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content
Be clear about your view at the start and keep it in the essay.
structure
End with a short idea that restates your view.
planning
Plan one idea per paragraph and give one clear example for each.
grammar
Watch spelling and word form. Use 'a risk', 'lose', 'outweigh' correctly.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like 'also', 'but', 'for example'.
content
Some good ideas about risk and change.
content
There are real examples like leaving a job to start a business.
coherence
The essay tries to use opposite views.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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