IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that men and women have different qualitites, therefore certin jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some people believe that
men
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 and
women
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 have different qualities, and
therefore
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 some
jobs
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 are more suitable for
men
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while
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 others are better
for
Verb problem
suited for
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women
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. I partly agree with
this
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 idea, as biological and physical differences can affect certain
jobs
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, but in most
cases
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cases,
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 both genders can perform equally well. On the one hand, there are some
jobs
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 that require physical strength or endurance, which may be more suitable for
men
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.
For example
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, working in construction or firefighting often involves lifting heavy objects or dealing with dangerous situations.
Similarly
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, some military positions can be more physically demanding. In
such
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 cases,
men
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 might have an advantage
due to
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 their biological strength.
On the other hand
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, many professions today depend more on skills, creativity, and intelligence rather than physical power.
For instance
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,
women
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 are highly successful in fields
such
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 as education, psychology, and management because these
jobs
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 require communication, empathy, and
organization
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organisation
show examples
 rather than strength.
Moreover
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, modern workplaces promote gender equality, and technology has made most tasks easier, so both
men
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 and
women
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 can perform almost any job effectively. In conclusion,
while
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 there are a few
jobs
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 that may be better suited to one gender for physical reasons, I believe that
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 general,
men
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 and
women
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 should have equal opportunities to work in any profession they choose. Skills, education, and motivation are far more important than gender.

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task response
State your view clearly in the intro and restate it in the end to show a strong stance.
task response
Give more strong and clear examples for both sides so the point is balanced.
lexical resource
Use simple, exact words and avoid repeating phrases.
coherence
Link ideas with connecting words and vary them to make the flow smoother.
task response
A clear view and good sign words
coherence
Structure with opening, two body parts and conclusion
coherence
Intro and conclusion are easy to find
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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