IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

These days is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, it's become easy for individuals travelling to
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 nations as compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 trend
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more benefits, as it will expand the economic growth, broaden the horizons of travellers, but it
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 some drawbacks, because it will create
worse
Correct article usage
a worse
show examples
 impact on the environment of that
destination
Punctuation problem
destination,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will be discussed in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 in the upcoming paragraphs. One of the main benefits of travelling abroad for local
people
Use synonyms
 is the exposure to different cultures.
While
Linking Words
 visiting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other countries, they will be able to meet
people
Use synonyms
 from other nations, and they can learn from them about their country's customs and traditions and vice versa. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they can
familier
Correct your spelling
familiarise
 themselves with another
nation'
Check wording
nation
show examples
s
Correct your spelling
's
 lifestyles. Another advantage is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism can enhance the economic growth of that country, because when
people
Use synonyms
 travel to other nations, they will spend their money on hospitality to retail sectors.
Thus
Linking Words
, spending in these sectors will create more job opportunities for local
people
Use synonyms
 and increase the revenue growth for
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 government.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a negative impact in terms of environmental factors, because when
people
Use synonyms
 travel to
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 countries to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their accommodation needs,
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 have to
do deforestation
Wrong verb form
deforest
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 factor
further
Linking Words
 leads to loss of habitats for several animals, and
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
worse
Correct article usage
a worse
show examples
 impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution.
In addition
Linking Words
 to it, tourists
also
Linking Words
 create too much waste
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
also
Linking Words
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 soil and river pollution. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 tourism
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a number of positive points for the host country,
such
Linking Words
 as revenue generation and exposure to different cultures for tourists,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
also
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 negative impacts
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example: air and water pollution that can be resolved with proper measures.

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grammar
Fix the grammar in many places. Watch 'has' and 'have'; use 'travel' not 'travelling' in this form; and spell common words correctly.
coherence
Use clear links to connect ideas. Use words like first, also, but, then, so to guide the reader.
content
Give one clear example from real life to back a point.
structure
End with a short view and a strong finish so the last line matches the first idea.
content
The essay covers both good and bad sides of tourism.
structure
There are clear paragraph breaks and some sign words.
coherence
Some linking words are used to show flow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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