IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

On vehicle-free days, private cars, truck and motorcycle are banned in the city center, while public transport is permitted such as bicycles, buses and taxis. Do the benefit of vehicle - free day outweigh the disadvantages?

New
Correct article usage
A new
show examples
 trend is emerging in populated cities as all the vehicles are banished inside the downtown except public
transport
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as bicycles, buses and taxis. If one really looks into the matter,
then
Linking Words
 it is advantageous and it completely
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
 the cons of having private
transport
Use synonyms
 systems.
Firstly
Linking Words
, all the major
city
Use synonyms
 centres have narrow roads
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 a lot of unnecessary traffic on the
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
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. The air quality is compromised as the traffic
stopped
Wrong verb form
stops
show examples
 moving, which in turn creates a lot of
health related
Use the right word
health-related
show examples
 issues. Once all the vehicles are removed from the road,
then
Linking Words
 the government can focus on building a
high class
Use the right word
high-class
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
 infrastructure.
As a result
Linking Words
, everyone will
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
this
Linking Words
 initiative.
In contrast
Linking Words
, others might argue that it will be harder for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 to get from point A to point B and for those who are living in the middle of the
city
Use synonyms
. But
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
building
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great public
transport
Use synonyms
 system will be beneficial for everyone to go anywhere in the
city
Use synonyms
regardless
Punctuation problem
, regardless
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 of the location.
Lastly
Linking Words
, allowing them to use the cycle and to walk on the streets will help the individuals to be healthy and active in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, everyone
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 a chance to interact with each other
while
Linking Words
 using the public
transport
Use synonyms
 and
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 themselves to open up from the depressed and lonely state. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there might be some disadvantages to
ban
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicles inside the focal point of the
city
Use synonyms
area
Check wording
apply
show examples
, the advantages still outweigh the cons as it will make the people of
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 healthier and make
Correct article usage
the
show examples
a
Correct word order
city a
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 better place to live.

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task response
Task response: Your view is clear, but you should talk more on both sides. Add real life steps and more exact examples to show how the plan would work and what problems may come.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use a clear order in ideas. Put the first reason, then the second. Use simple link words like first, next, also, but, so. Break long sentences and fix odd phrases.
task response
The idea of a change in city life is clear and you state a position.
coherence cohesion
There are linking words to show how ideas fit together.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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