IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe subjects with practical applications are better, however, others think subjects that are theoretical are better. Discuss both views And give your opinion

Currently, the best method in higher degree education has been discussed. Some experts assert that practical applications are better than theoretical,
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 other academics argue the
opposites
Fix the agreement mistake
opposite
show examples
. Actually, both views have strong empirical backgrounds
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
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, in my view, practical knowledges have more benefits for society. On one hand,
graduated
Replace the word
graduates
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
apply
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from
practical
Correct article usage
a practical
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 background
knowledge
Check wording
apply
show examples
,
that is
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so
Punctuation problem
, so
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called
Use the right word
so-called
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 vocational school, were believed to become problem
solver
Fix the agreement mistake
solvers
show examples
, because they
were
Verb problem
apply
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not only
understanding
Wrong verb form
understood
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 the concept. In
facts
Fix the agreement mistake
fact
show examples
, industries need those
students
Use synonyms
 rather than other
students
Use synonyms
 who have theoretical ability only.
For example
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, alumni of the Vocational School of Gadjah Mada University only
await
Use the right word
wait
show examples
 for six months to work in industry,
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to
reguler
Correct your spelling
regular
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who need at least one year to work.
On the other hand
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, actually conceptual frameworks are needed to
analyze
Change the spelling
analyse
show examples
 problems
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, an end-product should be grounded
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
layperson
Check wording
layperson's
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need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
, which is more practical. Currently, the number of universities that rely on theory is decreasing,
while
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 other higher degree rely on
practical
Correct article usage
a practical
show examples
 basis
has been
Wrong verb form
have
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 emerged in the
last
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 five years. In the student city, Yogyakarta,
for instance
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, the number of vocational school rise about 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
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 only
few
Correct article usage
a few
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students
Use synonyms
 have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
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to study
Change preposition
in studying
show examples
 theories in universities. In conclusion, nowadays, higher education should choose
in delivering
Change preposition
to deliver
show examples
knowledege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 to their
students
Use synonyms
, whether practical or theoretical. In the practical
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
, they tend to directly overcome problems on the ground,
whereas
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 in the theoretical
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
, they try to approach
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 by the concepts. Both theory has valid reasoning
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
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, in my opinion, theoretical universities only
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
small
Correct article usage
a small
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 impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 society,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why I agree that educational institutions that teach practical applications benefit people more.

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improvement
Your essay shows the idea of both sides and your view, but you should be clear on the task: give a clear opinion in the last paragraph and give a balanced view in the body. Try to fix long sentences and grammar errors.
structure
Make your paragraphs clear: one idea per paragraph with a topic sentence. Use linking words to show how ideas connect.
grammar
Use simple, correct words. Check spellings like 'knowledges', 'reguler', 'vocational'.
content
Use real and clear examples with place names or dates to make points strong. Do not rely on vague claims.
strength
The writer tries to show two sides and give a final view.
strength
There are real examples from a school and city.
strength
The end shows a clear opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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