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Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagrams illustrate the layout of West
Park
Use synonyms
 Secondary
School
Use synonyms
 and how it changed between 1950 and 2010. First of all, in
1950
Punctuation problem
1950,
show examples
 the
school
Use synonyms
 was accessed via the main road, which remained unchanged throughout the entire period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, behind the
school
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 building, there was a large
playground
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 occupying most of the area. On the left-hand side of the
school
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, a row of houses and a farmland were located.
Moverover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, in
1980
Punctuation problem
1980,
show examples
 the houses had been replaced by a car
park
Use synonyms
, and the
school
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 had been extended with a new science block.
In addition
Linking Words
, the farmland was converted into a sports field. The
playground
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,
however
Linking Words
, remained the same. In 2010, both the
school
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 building and the science block stayed unchanged. The former sports field was replaced by a significantly enlarged car
park
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,
while
Linking Words
 the original
playground
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 was divided into a smaller
playground
Use synonyms
 and a reduced sports field. In conclusion, West
Park
Use synonyms
 Secondary
School
Use synonyms
 and its surroundings underwent substantial changes between 1950 and 2010.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, school, playground with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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