‏In recent years, obesity has become an increasingly serious problem in many countries. What are the main reasons for this rise, and to what extent do modern lifestyle factors, such as the use of technology and social media, contribute to this issue?

The past years have, no doubt, seen an emergence in the obese population, reflecting a grave concern among several nations. There could be numerous possible reasons for

this

Linking Words

serious phenomenon

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

mainly include advanced technology and growing use of social

media

Use synonyms

;

however

Linking Words

, I believe that other existing factors contribute to some extent to

Linking Words

thus

Use the right word

this

show examples

growth.

This

Linking Words

essay will

hashout

Correct your spelling

hash out

the primary

as well as

Linking Words

other reasons in the upcoming paragraphs. Causes behind

this

Linking Words

trend can be many;

thr

Correct your spelling

the

most significant is indeed the advancement in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology, leading modern society to adopt the new approaches and amenities generated by technology. To elaborate

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, efficient

work

Use synonyms

tools and

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

promote employers to enforce

workkers

Correct your spelling

workers

remotely. despite the fact that it

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

productivity and efficiency, working

majorly

Rephrase

mainly

show examples

from

home

Fix capitalization

Home

show examples

soars the chances of

obesity

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, a study conducted by Harvard University revealed that

two - third

Use the right word

two-thirds

show examples

of the office workers suffer from

health

Use synonyms

issues

;

Punctuation problem

show examples

especially cholesterol and

obesity

Use synonyms

than their counterparts,

that is

Linking Words

, people commuting to

work

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, the more

easiness

Check wording

ease

show examples

procided

Correct your spelling

provided

techinical

Correct your spelling

technical

tools, the higher number of citizens

getting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

affected

Use synonyms

health wise

Use the right word

health-wise

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, Social

media

Use synonyms

can considerably

reasoned

Verb problem

contribute

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

concern as not only young adults but

also

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other age groups rely on scrolling through social platforms for

recreations

Fix the agreement mistake

recreation

show examples

Instead

Linking Words

of incorporating physical

acitivitiws

Correct your spelling

activities

in their routines, humankind

keep

Correct subject-verb agreement

keeps

show examples

themselves engaged in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

media

Use synonyms

applications

such

Linking Words

as Instagram,

Tiktok

Use the right word

TikTok

show examples

facebook

Fix capitalization

Facebook

show examples

and so on.

This

Linking Words

sedentary lifestyle, thereby,

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

Use synonyms

issues.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Busier

work

Use synonyms

rountines

Correct your spelling

routines

lead to an imbalance in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

personal and

work

Use synonyms

life

;

Punctuation problem

show examples

causing residents to consume

poor

Correct article usage

a poor

show examples

diet

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as-

Use the right word

show examples

canned foods

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

, in turn,

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

the likelihood of

obesity

Use synonyms

and other metabolic problems. To recapitulate,

although

Linking Words

the rise in technological progress and social

media

Use synonyms

use is the leading factor for the increase in

obesity

Use synonyms

yet poorly managed diets

also

Linking Words

contribute significantly

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

changes in these outcomes can have significant effects.

rs1990951

Nov 15, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Be clear on your view from the start. Say your main idea in one simple sentence in the introduction and stick to it.

coherence

Grow one idea per paragraph. Use clear links when you change to a new idea. Use short, clean sentences to keep flow.

development

Use real examples or numbers to show points. Check spell and word use so ideas are easy to read.

structure

Plan is there: intro, body, and ending.

content

Two main ideas are used: tech progress and social media.

task

Topic is clear and a position is shown.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

318 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
2.Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
Today, most workers in big cities tend to buy packaged food rather than make homemade food. While the many simple and cheap foods and lots of menu choices are the most significant advantages of this, not healthy preserved food and accumulated expenses for spending are the primary disadvantages.
6
band
Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?
With an ever-increasing concern about the way children are raised, some individuals opine that it is good to give children free will to choose what they want and provide what they ask for. This essay, however, will provide reasons why I strongly believe this approach will bring negative outcomes for children.
6
band
Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Some people have argued that authorities ought to invest in railways instead of building new roads. I strongly agree with this proposal, since it offers a combination of unique features, contributing to people in various aspects, like transport and a clean environment.
6
band
Some people believe that students should focus solely on academic subjects, while others think it is equally important for them to learn creative skills like painting, music, and drama. Discuss both views and give your opinion
There is no denying the fact that all kinds of lessons are important for students. While it is commonly held belief that not all subjects are taught to students academically only, there is also the argument that students should learn everything in primary and secondary school so that when they graduate, they will choose which subject interests them. This essay will analyse this topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
6.5
band
In some countries people who have high incomes pay very high taxes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for individuals and for the country as a whole?
Around the world, big countries are trying to get high taxes. This situation, for businessmen and for people who pay high taxes, is a disadvantage. While authorities try to get more and more. Also, see as much as possible profit with that. This is an advantage of course for countries. This essay will discuss both views. In the conclusion, I will clearly state my position on this issue.

‏In recent years, obesity has become an increasingly serious problem in many countries. What are the main reasons for this rise, and to what extent do modern lifestyle factors, such as the use of technology and social media, contribute to this issue?

2.Nowadays, more people would rather purchase food than cook at home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that students should focus solely on academic subjects, while others think it is equally important for them to learn creative skills like painting, music, and drama. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries people who have high incomes pay very high taxes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for individuals and for the country as a whole?