IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Research has shown that the transportation of products and people are the main source of pollution. Some people believe the government is responsible for, while others believe it is the fault of individuals. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

to
Fix capitalization
To
show examples
 commence with, transportation plays a very crucial role in everyone's life.
there
Fix capitalization
There
show examples
 is are plethora of research that shows that transportation of materials and masses is the main reason for
pollution
Use synonyms
. I personally believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 is more responsible for the increase in
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, governments are not making any regulations that can help in the reduction of
pollution
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should not let the masses use transportation from 12 pm to 5 am, unless in the situation of an emergency
.
Check wording
situation.
show examples
Linking Words
secondly
Fix capitalization
Secondly
show examples
, the
government
Use synonyms
 can use alternative options for moving things,
such
Linking Words
 as railway or waterways, which cannot only be eco-friendly but time saving
also
Linking Words
.
Correct word choice
time-saving.
show examples
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 can give guidelines to car-making companies to make cars that do not cause air
pollution
Use synonyms
. Adding to it, not only the
government
Use synonyms
 but people can contribute to the reduction of
pollution
Use synonyms
 as they can use vehicles only when needed.
Linking Words
to
Fix capitalization
To
show examples
 sum up, not only the
government
Use synonyms
 but individuals can be responsible for the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
. It's our responsibility to make
this
Linking Words
 world a better place by controlling ourselves and to make
this
Linking Words
 world a better place and become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make a clear plan before you write: start with a short intro that say what you think, then add both views, and end with your own view.
content
Give more full idea for each point. Explain why it matters and give more details.
structure
Use simple linking words to connect ideas better, like first, also, but, however, so.
grammar
Check small grammar and word form errors. Use simple, correct sentences.
content
The writer shows a view on both sides and takes a clear stand.
examples
There are some specific ideas like a night time ban and use of railways.
content
There is effort to end with a call to personal responsibility.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: