IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Elderly
people
Use synonyms
 are likely to have old-fashioned opinions about how others should act and live, and it is often argued that these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of thoughts do not work on teenagers. I strongly concur that,
although
Linking Words
 the older generation might actually be right, they are watching the world from their own perspective. One point for
this
Linking Words
 view is the fact that life does not evolve around fixed rules. With each era coming, not only humans, but
also
Linking Words
 animals might need to adapt themselves
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the transformations. The breakthrough of technology is one clear example of
this
Linking Words
. All
people
Use synonyms
, especially younger
ones
Punctuation problem
ones,
show examples
 need to keep up with the pace of the internet, unless they want
fall
Verb problem
to fall
show examples
 behind it.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will make significant changes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 members'
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will affect both their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 and personal lives. Another point is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the younger generation does not prefer hearing older
people
Use synonyms
's advice, and
thus
Linking Words
, they tend to break the
laws
Fix the agreement mistake
law
show examples
 whenever they can. There are two reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
, one reason is
due to
Linking Words
 the generation gap and how each
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
, and the other is about the sense of identity and
independecy
Correct your spelling
independence
 of an individual, which will result in them being disobedient.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to traditions becoming less popular over time, despite their usefulness.
Teens
Check wording
Teens'
show examples
 defiant nature is likely to make the words of wisdom
to be
Verb problem
go
show examples
 unheard, because they want to make their
rules
Correct word choice
own rules
show examples
 and not
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
blindly follow what their
ancestor's
Check wording
ancestors
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 told them.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly agree that older
people
Use synonyms
's words
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not have an impact on younger
genrations
Correct your spelling
generations
 as they are more likely to do whatever they want.

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grammar/spelling
Fix grammar and spelling errors in many sentences to make meaning clear.
coherence
Use simple link words to connect ideas, like first, also, but, therefore.
development
Give one clear example for each idea to show it is well shown.
structure
Keep one big idea in each paragraph and end with a clear idea.
editing
Check the end to restate your view strongly.
content
The writer makes a clear view and sticks to it.
structure
There is a start, middle and end in the essay.
evidence
Real life ideas like tech and internet are used as examples.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traditional ideas
  • Modern life
  • Younger generations
  • Stability
  • Guidance
  • Foundation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Rigid gender roles
  • Resistance to new technologies
  • Adaptability
  • Innovative solutions
  • Respecting elders
  • Maintaining family bonds
  • Stifle progress
  • Fusion of ideas
  • Outdated values
What to do next:
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