IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Nowadays there is a trend that media focuses on problems and emergencies rather than positive developments. Some people think that it is harmful to individual and societies. To what extent do you agree ?

Use synonyms
Media
Correct article usage
The media
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 has played an important role in provoking people's
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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on
Change preposition
in
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 pressing societal issues.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that
this
Linking Words
 trend is positive for society, I strongly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
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that it mainly results in negative effects on
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 and societies. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will present several reasons supporting my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
nagative
Correct your spelling
negative
 news can lead to
form
Wrong verb form
forming
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 a biased
vew
Correct your spelling
view
 on individuals, exacerbating trust in the public. Crimes,
for instance
Linking Words
, occur every day in most cities, but authorities manage public safety through
well-organized
Change the spelling
well-organised
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 safety systems. If
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
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 constantly delivers brutal crimes, it would raise unnecessary concerns
to
Change preposition
for
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 the public,
disencouraging
Correct your spelling
discouraging
 their social activities.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 may reduce
overall
Linking Words
 social interactions among people, which is substantially harmful for economic growth. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 the main role of
media
Use synonyms
 is to find pressing issues and urgent information to the public, I firmly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that a biased view of
media
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 may pose
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 society, suppressing social
acitivity
Correct your spelling
activity
 of individuals.

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content
The essay keeps a clear view, but it does not add enough strong points. Give more reasons why media harm is seen, and add one or two good examples with detail that show cause and effect.
structure
Put your ideas in a clear map. Have an intro, one or two body parts, and a short conclusion. Use linking words to move from one idea to the next.
stance
You show a clear view that media can have a bad effect.
structure
The intro states the plan and topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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