IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

discuss the advantage and disadvange of living in the city?

In today's
world
Punctuation problem
world,
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 there is
growing
Correct article usage
a growing
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 debate
wether
Use the right word
whether
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 one should live in the city to incorporate
busy
Correct article usage
a busy
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 lifestyle
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 others argue that people living in villages ensure quality time
family
Change preposition
with family
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 and enjoy their festivals.
This
Linking Words
 essay will address
boon
Correct article usage
the boon
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 and bane of people staying in town and its impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. The primary advantage of being a
part
Use synonyms
 of modern society is that youngsters get
high quality
Use the right word
high-quality
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 education with top-notch universities, highly educated professors
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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be
Wrong verb form
are
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a
Correct word order
part of a
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part
Use synonyms
 of competitive environment.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in cities there are more jobs in multiple sectors like IT, Finance, Banking, and Pharmacy
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 not only
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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high paying
Use the right word
high-paying
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 but
Rephrase
also ensures
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ensures
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensure
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 quality of life. Students often
gey benefitted
Verb problem
benefit
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by
Change preposition
from
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 taking
part
Use synonyms
 in competitive exams
such
Linking Words
 as scholarships and
olympiad
Fix the agreement mistake
olympiads
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 that
builds
Correct subject-verb agreement
build
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 strong
problem solving
Use the right word
problem-solving
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 and analytical skills. Adults learn to survive in hard
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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staying
Punctuation problem
, staying
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 away from families
Punctuation problem
, and
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and
Correct word choice
which
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 boosts confidence and
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 self-reliant.
For instance
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, many teenagers move to
metropolitian
Correct your spelling
metropolitan
 cities like Mumbai and Pune for their graduation and to achieve their dreams. The major disadvantage of people staying in urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 is
taht
Correct your spelling
that
 there is
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in nuclear families and retirement homes.
In addition
Linking Words
, individuals often ignore or forget their culture and tradition. Another drawback is majority of
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 is facing health issues
due to
Linking Words
 pollution and
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
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 diet in
town
Correct article usage
the town
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it leads to depression and loneliness in young minds.
For instance
Linking Words
, many kids commit suicide
due to
Linking Words
 failing
in
Change preposition
apply
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exams and high stress. In summary, being a
part
Use synonyms
 of
vibrant
Correct article usage
a vibrant
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 city not only ensures growth in
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
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 journey but
also
Linking Words
 helps to climb
property
Correct article usage
the property
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 ladder.
In contrast
Linking Words
, being in smaller
communities
Punctuation problem
communities,
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 one can enjoy with loved ones and be happy.

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organization
Make the two parts clear. Use a clear start for pro and con in their own parts, then finish with your view.
content
Add more real facts or examples and explain how they back your point.
language
Check spelling and grammar to fix errors like wether, taht, and metropolitian.
cohesion
Use joining words like also, but, however, for example to link ideas and make the flow better.
task response
End with a short line that shows what you think about the issue.
structure
The essay has a clear start and end.
content
You give real places as examples.
balance
The essay shows both sides of the issue.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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