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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Pie charts below show the source of electricity produced in 4 countries in 2003.

Pie charts below show the source of electricity produced in 4 countries in 2003.
The given pie charts illustrate the information about
electricity
Use synonyms
 sources (fossil fuel
.
Punctuation problem
,
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Hydro
Use synonyms
power
Use synonyms
, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
) in India, Sweden,
Morocco
Use synonyms
 and
Vietnam
Use synonyms
 in 2003. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, fossil fuel was the primary
sourse
Correct your spelling
source
 in India and
Vietnam
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it was
Hydro
Use synonyms
power
Use synonyms
 in Sweden and
Morocco
Use synonyms
. Interestingly,
Morocco
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 and
Vietnam
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 did not
utilized
Verb problem
utilise
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 nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 as a source of energy. Specifically, the usage of fossil fuels represented the highest share in India, with 82%.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by
hydro
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power
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 accounted for 14%.The least proportion was depicted by nuclear
power
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, constituting only 4%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Sweden preferred
hydro
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power
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 more than other sources, making up 52%. The indication of nuclear
power
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 was slightly lower than
hydro
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power
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, with 8% disparity.
However
Linking Words
, only 4% of the
electricity
Use synonyms
 was
genereted
Correct your spelling
generated
 from fossil fuels. Turning to the figures for
Morocco
Use synonyms
,the main source was
hydro
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power
Use synonyms
 with 95%, the other 5% of the
electro energy
Use the right word
electricity
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 was derived from fossil fuels.
Contactingly
Correct your spelling
Interestingly
, in
Use synonyms
Vietnam
Add a comma
Vietnam,
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 more than half of the
electricity
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 production was accounted for
fossil
Change preposition
by fossil
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power
Use synonyms
 (56%). The other part, 44%, was generated from
hydro
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power
Use synonyms
.
Suprisingly
Correct your spelling
Surprisingly
, neither of these countries did not
manufacture
Correct subject-verb agreement
manufactures
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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electricity
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
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using nuclear
power
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, hydro, power, morocco, vietnam with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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