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Writing Samples
Band 6

Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year to help employees perform better in their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the topic of occupation has emerged as a matter of significant concern to the general public.
While
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 some individuals argue that a month’s
holiday
Use synonyms
 a year is enough for employees, I firmly assert that a longer
vacation
Use synonyms
 contributes to higher productivity and creativity and better job performance.
This
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 essay aims to provide a comprehensive analysis of
this
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 viewpoint. It is necessary to acknowledge the advantages of an extended
holiday
Use synonyms
.
Initially
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, a pivotal consideration is that taking a
vacation
Use synonyms
 benefits both mental and physical well-being.
For instance
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, the community can go hiking, surfing, and so on, allowing the public to reconnect to nature, let their hair down, and recharge their battery.
This
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 helps people ease the tiredness of a hectic schedule, keeping them motivated when returning to work.
Moreover
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, individuals can have an opportunity for self-improvement.
For example
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, one can choose to travel overseas during a
holiday
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, enabling staff to explore and experience diverse cultural backgrounds and lifestyles, and gain multicultural knowledge.
In addition
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, employees can dedicate their
holiday
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 to taking a short course in order to gain more skills.
This
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 direct
holiday
Use synonyms
 not only broadens their horizons but
also
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 fosters creativity and innovation, which are valuable for generating fresh ideas in the workplace. Ultimately, it is a quality time to spend with their loved ones. Enjoying the
vacation
Use synonyms
 with family members and friends is a great way to strengthen their bonds and provide them with encouragement and support during challenging times. The emotional support translates well to a higher motivation and an attempt to do their work. In conclusion,
this
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 essay highlights the topic of how long the
vacation
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 lasts, which always maintains the centre of controversy. It is undeniable that a
holiday
Use synonyms
 can contribute significantly to mental and physical health, self-improvement, and bonding with loved ones.

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task response
Keep a clear view from start to end. State the main idea early and stay with it. Add a simple link to how extra days help work.
coherence
Use a simple plan: point, reason, example, wrap up. Use words that join ideas, like 'and', 'but', 'so', to move ideas well.
examples
Give small, real examples about work. For example, 'more rest helps memory' or 'time with family can lift mood'.
opinion
The essay shows a clear view that longer holidays help work.
content
It notes good ideas on health, growth, and bonds.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rest and recuperate
  • Increased productivity
  • Mental health
  • Enhanced creativity
  • Problem-solving
  • Reduced burnout
  • Job satisfaction
  • Work-life balance
  • Long-term benefits
  • Motivated workforce
  • Mental space
  • Extended break
  • Employee performance
  • Healthier workforce
  • Ample time
What to do next:
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