Health experts say that obese women and women over the age of 40 should not be given free fertility treatment (IVF) because they are more likely to experience health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is

contend

Wrong verb form

contended

show examples

by health

specialist

Fix the agreement mistake

specialists

show examples

that fertility treatment should not be practised by

women

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

who are overweight

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

and above the

age

Use synonyms

of 40, since it creates

complexity

Check wording

complications

show examples

during

pregancies

Correct your spelling

pregnancies

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, in my opinion, I totally agree with the viewpoints,

due to

Linking Words

the

reduce

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

abilities of natural

birth

Use synonyms

after

cross

Wrong verb form

crossing

show examples

certain

age

Use synonyms

limits, and malnutrition of an infant through

innovation

Replace the word

innovative

show examples

tools.

This

Linking Words

essay will shed

lights

Fix the agreement mistake

light

show examples

on my position with reasons and examples.

To begin

Linking Words

with, Fertility rates of

women

Use synonyms

declines

Correct subject-verb agreement

decline

show examples

drastically with ageing.

This

Linking Words

causes many health complications

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

while

Linking Words

conceiving

baby

Correct article usage

a baby

show examples

naturally.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the post-natal

birth

Use synonyms

can be

deterimental

Correct your spelling

detrimental

for

both

Use synonyms

mother

Use synonyms

and

child

Use synonyms

, which can

causes

Wrong verb form

cause

show examples

fatal

Check wording

consequences in

show examples

Correct article usage

the worse

show examples

worse

Correct word choice

worst

show examples

condition

Check wording

case scenario

show examples

for

both

Use synonyms

of them. In present day, it is seen that most of the pregancies are done surgically,

instead

Linking Words

of natural

birth

Use synonyms

, especially

women

Use synonyms

who are at the

age

Use synonyms

of 30 or above. Late

birth

Use synonyms

Linking Words

Therefore

Fix capitalization

therefore

show examples

, can prove

Verb problem

to be as

show examples

Use the right word

show examples

menace to

both

Use synonyms

mother

Correct article usage

the mother

show examples

and their

child

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, married couples who opt for IVF often find their

child

Use synonyms

underdeveloped.

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

innovation can mimic the

mother

Use synonyms

's womb, they often lack the emotional bond that

Use synonyms

mother

Correct article usage

a mother

show examples

gives will

nuturing

Correct your spelling

nurturing

their infant during

pregancy

Correct your spelling

pregnancy

This

Linking Words

can

been

Wrong verb form

show examples

seen when

Use synonyms

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

often have

deficiency

Correct article usage

a deficiency

show examples

regarding health

nutritions

Fix the agreement mistake

nutrition

show examples

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

it can

prolong

Verb problem

last

show examples

over a

life time

Use the right word

lifetime

show examples

Consequently

Linking Words

, Parents and

Use synonyms

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

have to incur

physically

Replace the word

physical

show examples

and

mentally

Replace the word

mental

show examples

Linking Words

due

Check wording

health issues due

show examples

to late

birth

Use synonyms

with

using

Wrong verb form

the use of

show examples

adavance

Correct your spelling

advanced

technology.

To conclude

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

a child

show examples

child

Check wording

child's

show examples

birth

Use synonyms

using fertility treatment can be controversial. The claims

aganist

Correct your spelling

against

it can be conspicuous

due to

Linking Words

the hope it creates to conceive the baby naturally even though

women

Use synonyms

who cross the ideal

age

Use synonyms

pregancy

Correct your spelling

pregnancy

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, I stand firm against my opinion because

Change preposition

apply

show examples

having a baby using technology can

sometims

Correct your spelling

sometimes

deterrant

Correct your spelling

detrimental

and fatal for

both

Use synonyms

mother

Use synonyms

and children.

leom7274

Nov 19, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Make a clear plan first: write a short intro with your view, then body para with each point, then a short conclusion.

grammar

Use simple and correct grammar. Break long sentences and fix common errors.

content

Give reasons and simple facts. Add a real example to back up each point.

content

You say a clear view on the topic.

coherence

The topic is easy to see as health and baby care.

coherence

You try to link what is done in IVF with money and health, which shows you know the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

nuanced discussion
heightened health risks
public health and safety
discriminatory
individual health conditions
mitigate risks
mental health and well-being
deeply personal
equitable treatment
advancements in medical science
managed effectively
inclusive approach

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Health experts say that obese women and women over the age of 40 should not be given free fertility treatment (IVF) because they are more likely to experience health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantage and disadvantage of giving children this message.

People living in large cites today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

ather. The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give yourown opinion.