IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university.

In some countries, more young people prefer to receive work-based training than to get
educated
Wrong verb form
an education
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in
Change preposition
at
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 university. In my opinion, I believe that the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 trend completely outweigh the disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the knowledge taught in the universities is a kind of superficial, which seems useless for students’ future work,
while
Linking Words
 the work-based training can give them more practical knowledge, helping them get ready for future
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university students a long
time
Use synonyms
, 4 to 7 years
Change preposition
on averagely
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averagely
Replace the word
average
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to
Punctuation problem
, to
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 study one major, and most of that
time
Use synonyms
 is wasted
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
campus activities and irrelevant courses.
However
Linking Words
, work-based training costs less
time
Use synonyms
 and money
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 students' academic pressure at the same
time
Use synonyms
. Especially for students whose families are not wealthy, work-based training can give them a chance to receive quality education
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
low
Correct article usage
a low
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spending
Check wording
cost
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 and
attend
Verb problem
begin
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work
Replace the word
working
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an earlier age.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
there’re
Use the right word
there are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 some drawbacks if
this
Linking Words
 trend
keeps
Wrong verb form
continues to
show examples
 develop to an extent.
For example
Linking Words
, if the majority of young people in a country choose not to attend universities, there will be
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 highly educated intellectuals who can contribute to a country's development. Without standard education, a country’s cutting-edge technology will stop developing
just
Punctuation problem
, just
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 depending on work-based training.
To conclude
Linking Words
, though the trend that more youth are choosing
receiving
Wrong verb form
to receive
show examples
 work-based training
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 university education may
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 some disadvantages,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
its advantages completely outweigh

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task-fulfillment
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it steady. Add a short plan in the intro and finish with a strong conclusion that repeats your view.
coherence
Use more linking words to connect ideas and move from one idea to the next. Keep one idea per paragraph and check order.
content
The essay tries to cover both sides and give reasons.
content
There are some time and cost examples that can support points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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