IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that it is easier to have a healthy lifestyle in the countryside. Others believe that there are health benefits to living in cities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the modern era, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe lifestyle in cities more healthier than in the suburbs.
However
Linking Words
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 firmly believe
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that life in
Correct article usage
the contryside
show examples
contryside
Correct your spelling
countryside
prone
Verb problem
is prone
show examples
 to be by far more
health related
Use the right word
health-related
show examples
. It is widely known
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that in the large cities access to
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 is easier.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can have
active
Correct article usage
an active
show examples
work-out
Use the right word
workout
show examples
, and do not
propose
Verb problem
promote
show examples
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle to spoil their health.
For instance
Linking Words
, after work
people
Use synonyms
 can go to
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 and train to maintain their body condition.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 often encourage their friends to go to
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 with them,
thus
Linking Words
 more
people
Use synonyms
 are likely to do exercises. Another reason, individuals have greater access to medicine. In case of example person can call
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
show examples
 in every part of the town
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 medical help would get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
to the place very soon. Individuals do not need to wait until
emergency
Correct article usage
an emergency
show examples
 car
came
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 from
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 distance.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living in remote areas
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 clean air and
abscence
Correct your spelling
absence
 of
detriment
Replace the word
detrimental
show examples
 noise sources. Because of
Correct article usage
the distanace
show examples
distanace
Correct your spelling
distance
 between large factories and other sources of urbanisation air in
suburbs
Correct article usage
the suburbs
show examples
 is
cleanier
Correct your spelling
cleaner
,
consequently
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 would not have problems with their lungs.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a few
amounth
Correct your spelling
amounts
 of cars and fewer
amounth
Correct your spelling
amounts
 of
people
Use synonyms
 mean that there
less
Verb problem
is less
show examples
 chance to have
menthal
Correct your spelling
mental
 and physical issues,
such
Linking Words
 as depression and
headache
Fix the agreement mistake
headaches
show examples
. Active
lyfestyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
another major reason, because
people
Use synonyms
 in
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 regions are doing more
physical
Replace the word
physically
show examples
related
Correct word choice
demanding
show examples
 work. Thereby, they will be
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
healthier.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 there are some reasons for cities to be healthy,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I mostly believe that for individuals in remote areas
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 much
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
easier.

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language
Fix many spelling and grammar errors; write clearer sentences with correct forms.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences and smooth links between ideas to improve flow.
content
Add more and better examples to explain each view.
structure
End with a short conclusion that repeats your view.
lexical
Choose simple and exact words to keep meaning clear.
structure
The writer shows a clear view and can discuss both sides.
content
There are two body parts that compare city and country life.
content
Examples are used, like gym access and clean air.
content
The task is followed with an opinion given.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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