IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In the contemporary era, the food industry has changed significantly. It is said that these days, there are various
products
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 from all around the world available in the supermarket for consumption. We cannot deny that it is a really good trend, and I am going to elaborate on
this
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 in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, finding imported
products
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 can benefit all groups of
people
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 in society. There are many
people
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 in developing countries who want to live
similarly
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 to
people
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 in developed countries.
Hence
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, they travel long distances to provide more welfare for their family members in terms of food.
Therefore
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, by providing
this
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 opportunity for them, they can purchase their desirable
products
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 by reducing their trips and using less fossil fuels.
As a result
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, it will reduce air pollution, which will be effective for our environment.
Furthermore
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, importing food
products
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 encourages the local
market
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 to compete with the global
market
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 to improve the quality of crops.
Consequently
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, they can attract more consumers to their
products
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 and increase their financial situation.
On the other hand
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, some of the imported
products
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 are just well-designed, and the local
market
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 does not have the ability to compete with them.
Therefore
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, not only might their
products
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 become spoilage, but it will
also
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 decrease the local economic development.
For instance
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, when in Iran,
people
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 were attracted by overseas goods, many Iranian markets were eliminated.
As a consequence
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, the percentage of poverty and unemployment increased in farmers’ and retailers’ households for more than 20 years. In conclusion,
although
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 distributing different
products
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 in global markets can resolve some environmental issues, it can bring unemployment to the local
market
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 in society. I recommend that the governments assist their local markets by offering long-term loans to create a healthy competition with imported
products
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.

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content
Make your view clear in the first part so the reader knows your stance.
coherence
Use simple and clear links to join ideas between sentences and parts.
examples
Give more exact examples and explain how they support your point.
structure
The essay has a plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
content
It tries to show both good and bad sides of world goods.
language
Some cause and effect ideas are clear (imports can cut trips, pollution).
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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