Some educators believe that every child should be thought how to play musical instruments. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is true that

music

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plays an indispensable role in everyone’s life. Some educators believe that every child should know how to play musical

instruments

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. I agree with

this

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notion. I think

music

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helps to preserve history, improve

children

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’s concentration, and make them

expert

Fix the agreement mistake

experts

show examples

in a particular

intrument

Correct your spelling

instrument

. One of the main reasons

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

why

children

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have to play musical

instruments

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. An education of distinct

instruments

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not only

encourage

Correct subject-verb agreement

encourages

show examples

them to play but

also

Linking Words

helps to preserve our traditional musical culture.

For example

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, Bugchu, Sarangi, Rabab and Dafli are the popular

instruments

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of Punjab, and

used

Verb problem

are used

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to perform

varies

Replace the word

various

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cultural activities

such

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as Folk

music

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and dance, etcetera. But these types of

instruments

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are

Verb problem

have

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disappeared significantly. So, it is essential for

children

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to learn about their cultural heritage.

Moreover

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, we all know that

children

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have to study a lot of academic subjects, and they rarely get enough time to relax their minds. If schools add an additional subject of

music

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Change preposition

show examples

their

curriculum

Punctuation problem

curriculum,

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then

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students can get

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

understanding of

this

Linking Words

field.

In addition

Linking Words

music

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provides a break from their monotonous schedule and

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

their concentration.

Furthermore

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, a child can achieve professionalism and perfection

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particular

Correct article usage

a particular

show examples

instrument when he continuously practices on it. Now most of the schools and

organizations

Change the spelling

organisations

show examples

hold competitions at national or

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

international

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

to develop the curiosity among

children

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to learn these

instruments

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Also

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, it increases their confidence when they perform in front of the audience.

To sum up

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, undoubtedly

music

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plays a vital role in preserving cultural values, enhancing

children

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's mental focus, and

helps

Wrong verb form

helping

show examples

them to develop expertise in musical

instruments

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. I firmly believe that every child should have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge of learning

instruments

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, because it is essential for their holistic development.

kaurjagdeep2097

Nov 19, 2025

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structure

Improve the plan. Start with a clear intro that states your view. Then have body paragraphs each with one main idea and a link to the task. Finish with a short conclusion.

grammar

Check grammar. Fix wrong phrases and agreement: 'an education of distinct instruments' should be 'education in playing different instruments' and 'encourage' should match 'education' as 'encourages'.

lexical

Choose exact and simple words. Avoid forms like 'varies', 'etcetera'. Use 'various', 'and so on'.

development

Add more strong examples for each idea to show your point well.

coherence

Keep ideas linked. Use transitions to show how each paragraph connects to the task.

content strength

Clear stance and agreement with the topic.

content strength

Use of local cultural examples adds tone and depth.

structure strength

Concludes with a summary that restates view.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

music
instrument
learn
child
school
teacher
student
skill
benefit
time
money
choice
option
offer
access
interest
group
activity
balance
future
culture
help

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Some educators believe that every child should be thought how to play musical instruments. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

More and more people are leaving countryside to live in cities. Do more advantages or disadvantages of this development for environment

In some countries, people prefer to rent a house than buy one. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a property?

Disruptive school students have negative impact on their classmates. Students are noisy and disobedient should be grouped together and teaching separately. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests.