IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is better to save money than to spend it. How far do you agree with this statement? Is saving more important than spending in today’s world? Give reasons for your answer, and provide ideas and examples from your own

Thanks to the technological revolution, every single part of our lives has been altered significantly, and the same trend can be seen for
money
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.
While
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 some opine we should save our
money
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 rather than spend it, in my view, underestimating the importance of financial safety for living longer and happier is not logical. On the one hand,
money
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 management goes a long way. So seriously has developing an independent life affected people’s minds that they strongly believe that saving a small amount of
money
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 each month is one of the must-try ways to benefit from wealth, since they have
this
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 chance to stand on their own feet.
As a result
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, it makes a valuable contribution to their personal growth, as they rely on themselves. It gives them a sense of identity.
On the other hand
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, happiness is a serious business. To clarify, if people put pressure on themselves to save their wealth in their bank account or under the mattress
instead
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 of spending it to make themselves up to maximum happy, it may result in many mental disorders for them. As we all know, city life is full of unforeseen circumstances
due to
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 its fast-paced
rate
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nature
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, which can cause tension and aggression among citizens.
Therefore
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, if they do not place a high value on releasing their stress and anxiety by spending their
money
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 on
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 and purchasing with the aim of recharging their batteries, they may suffer from many mental problems, and the most common one is depression. In conclusion,
although
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 saving
money
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 is a must in
this
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 modern era, it plays a crucial role in the standard of our lives. I strongly believe it is not worth negotiating our mental health and enjoyment of the moments by solely saving
money
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.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear stance in the intro and restate it in the conclusion.
structure
Use simple connectives to show the flow between ideas.
content
Develop each main point with more detail and a specific, real-world example.
grammar
Check grammar and aim for shorter sentences to avoid complexity.
lexis
Fix awkward phrases and keep language close to simple, common words.
content
The essay has a clear focus on money and well-being, with two main ideas.
structure
There is an attempt to give examples about mental health and city life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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