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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given line graph illustrates the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 travelling
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a specific Caribbean
island
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that, for the majority of years, the total tourists staying on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 more as compared to
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on cruise ships, meanwhile
cumulative
Correct article usage
the cumulative
show examples
of
Check wording
number of
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 always recorded an upward swing, except
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 between 2015 and 2016. In the
year
Use synonyms
 2010, the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of people staying on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 was over 0.5
million
Use synonyms
 and remained the same in the next
year
Use synonyms
. Between 2011 and 2013, it experienced a moderate increase and reached a high of approximately 1.5
million
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 again, the
trend
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remained stable for the upcoming 2 years, which accounts for around 1.5
million
Use synonyms
. From 2015 to 2016, the
trend
Use synonyms
 experienced a slight
dropped
Replace the word
drop
show examples
 and the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on cruise boats exceeding in number and maintained its
dominant
Replace the word
dominance
show examples
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 rest of the
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2010, the
quantity
Check wording
number
show examples
 of people staying on cruise vessels
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 around 0.25
million
Use synonyms
. From 2010 to 2013, the
trend
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fluctuated. The next
year
Use synonyms
, the aggregate of
person
Fix the agreement mistake
persons
show examples
 residing on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
 recorded a rapid escalation
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
trend
Use synonyms
continues
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 up to 2017 and
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
it’s
Use the right word
its
show examples
peaked
Replace the word
peak
show examples
 (approximately 2
million
Use synonyms
).

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, island, year, million, trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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