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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue that schools should teach children how to prepare healthy meals. Others believe this is the responsibility of parents at home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Schools
Use synonyms
 are believed to be supposed to teach
children
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 how to prepare healthy dishes,
while
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 some people argue that parents should assume
this
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 responsibility.
This
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 essay agrees with the former belief that
schools
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 have a far more effective role in teaching students to make healthy meals. Both perspectives will be examined in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, since
children
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 spend most of their
time
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 at school, indisputably, they learn a lot there. They consume at least two of their meals at school.
Therefore
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, it is a golden
time
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 to educate students
how
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on how
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 to prepare food which can be nutritious and healthy.
In addition
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,
children
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 learn better in groups.
That is
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 to say, they try to imitate others’ conduct,
among
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including
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 them is diet.
Conversely
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,
schools
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 have skilled and qualified instructors.
In other words
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, many parents’ knowledge might be insufficient to teach their
children
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. Nowadays, even if parents have knowledge, they cannot spend
time
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 with their
children
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 because of the limited
time
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 and challenges they might encounter in their lives.
For instance
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, in some cases, most of them rely on convenience food
due to
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time
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 constraints.
To conclude
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,
this
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 essay acknowledges that despite parents’ important role in teaching their
children
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 how to make a healthier meal, it would be better to give
this
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 key role to
schools
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 to provide structured, consistent, and professional guidance on preparing healthy meals. By integrating food education into the curriculum,
schools
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 not only equip students with essential life skills but
also
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 promote healthier lifestyles across society.
Therefore
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, entrusting
schools
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 with
this
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 responsibility is the most effective way to ensure that future generations grow up with the knowledge and habits necessary for long-term well-being.

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development
Give more clear examples to back up the idea that schools should teach meals.
language
Use short, clear sentences; break long ideas into two sentences.
structure
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and finish with a main idea.
task
You show a clear view and you answer the task.
coherence
You use linking words to move from one part to the next.
structure
The essay has a plan: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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