Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.
Issues pertaining to elective
subjects
are a frequent topic of discussion in contemporary discourse. Some argue that schools should prioritize academic success and examination results, contending that subjects
like cookery, dressmaking, and woodwork are better learned within familial and peer settings. However
, I vehemently disagree with this
viewpoint, emphasizing the considerable advantages these skills
offer and the role they play in effective household time management.
Firstly
, it is essential to recognize that skills
such
as cooking, dressmaking, and woodworking form the foundation for children's future careers. When schools enlist experts in these domains to share their insights, students can efficiently develop their skills
as hobbyists. Moreover
, mastering these skills
contributes to the holistic development of children. For instance
, cookery enhances teamwork and mathematical skills
, while
woodworking fosters an understanding of three-dimensional objects.
Additionally
, not every family possesses the necessary time to impart these skills
effectively. Consequently
, it is more practical for schools to assume responsibility for teaching these subjects
. Integrating elective courses into the regular teaching schedule can diversify the curriculum and provide students with essential knowledge. Furthermore
, proficiency in these elective subjects
is often a prerequisite for university admissions.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that elective skills
should be an integral part of the school or university curriculum, as obtaining a foundational understanding within educational institutions is preferable to seeking additional courses externally. Therefore
, educational institutions must strike a delicate balance between academic skills
and optional subjects
, recognizing the invaluable role these elective skills
play in a well-rounded education.Submitted by nine318 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Employ connective words and phrases to signal relationships between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and collectively bookend the discussion effectively. However, ensure the thesis statement in the introduction directly addresses the essay prompt and that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and your position without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your main points should always be supported by specific examples or evidence. While your essay includes relevant support for some claims, strive to include specific, detailed examples in every main body paragraph to illustrate and reinforce your arguments.
task achievement
Your response to the task covers the key aspects of the prompt; however, the response could be more complete. Make sure to address all parts of the prompt fully and provide a balanced discussion if the question requires consideration of different viewpoints.
task achievement
The ideas in your essay are clear and comprehensive overall, but can benefit from further expansion and deeper analysis. Each idea should be explored fully with appropriate support to demonstrate a high level of understanding.
task achievement
You have used some relevant examples, but they are not always specific or detailed enough. Specific examples serve as convincing evidence of your claims and are crucial for a high score in task achievement. Include more illustrative examples and detail to strengthen your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example