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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart belows shows the changes in Manchester City Centre from 2003-2012

The chart belows shows the changes in Manchester City Centre from 2003-2012
The graph illustrates the modification of
cases
Use synonyms
 in Manchester city
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 for a
9 year
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9-year
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period
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in
Change preposition
from
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 2003 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of burglary
cases
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 decreased significantly
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 the increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 car theft is insignificant.
Therefore
Linking Words
, total robbery was generally stagnant all over the
period
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the beginning of the
period
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, burglary
cases
Use synonyms
 started as the most happening case in the Manchester City
Center
Change the spelling
Centre
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, after 4 years, it decreased significantly to 1000
cases
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 in 2008 from over 3500
cases
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 in 2004. Burglary
cases
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 had
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 dip in 2008 with 1000
cases
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 happening.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, car theft
cases
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 were the most numerous
cases
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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, with approximately 2800
cases
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. Robbery is the least happening case, other than the two other
cases
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. It fluctuated insignificantly over the
period
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. Robbery
cases
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 had
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 peak with 1000
cases
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 in 2005 and
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 dip with approximately 500
cases
Use synonyms
 from 2006 to 2009.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cases, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dip" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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