IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?

In many countries today, governments have started to make laws that limit how many
hours
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 employees can
work
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, and there are several reasons why
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
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 of rules are being introduced. One main reason is that in some
workplaces
Punctuation problem
workplaces,
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 employers ask
workers
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 to stay for very long
hours
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, sometimes much more than a normal person can handle. When people
work
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 too much, they become very tired and stressed, and after some
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time
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time,
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 it can even cause serious health problems. So governments want to protect
workers
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 from being overworked and to make sure they have enough
time
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 to rest. Another important reason is that people
also
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 need a good
work
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–life balance. If someone spends most of their day at
work
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 and comes home late every night, they don’t have
time
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 for their family, friends or even for themselves.
This
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 can make life feel empty and stressful. By limiting working
hours
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,
workers
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 get more free
time
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, and they can enjoy their
life
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lives
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 more.
Usually
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Usually,
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 a person who is rested and not stressed works better anyway, so it
also
Linking Words
 helps companies in the long run. In my opinion, these laws are a positive trend. They give
workers
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 fair conditions and stop employers from using them too much.
Also
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, when employees are healthier and happier, they can do their job more effectively and make
less
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fewer
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 mistakes.
This
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 creates a better atmosphere at
work
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 and in society
too
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, too
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.
To conclude
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, laws that limit working
hours
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 are mainly introduced to protect
workers
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’ health and to improve their daily
life
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lives
show examples
. I believe it is a good development that brings benefits both for
workers
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 and employers.

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improvement
Add one counter view to show balance and use one or two small facts to back it up.
improvement
Use more linking words to join ideas and guide the reader.
improvement
Fix small grammar errors like 'these kind' to 'these kinds' and try to split very long sentences.
strength
The writer shows a clear view and gives reasons.
strength
Intro and conclusion are present and stay on topic.
strength
There is good use of simple linking words to guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental health
  • employee rights
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • absenteeism
  • exploitation
  • social justice
  • adequate
  • leisure
  • recovery
  • stress levels
  • motivation
  • focused
  • structured
  • manageable
What to do next:
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