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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?

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Introduction
In some countries, governments have introduced
laws
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 to limit working
hours
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 in order to protect
workers
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' health and improve their
work
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 quality. I personally believe
this
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 is a positive development for both
employees
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 and employers.
Body paragraph 1
One of the main reasons for introducing these
laws
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 is to protect
workers
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 from the negative effects of excessive working
hours
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. When people
work
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 for long periods without enough rest, they may experience problems
such
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 as physical or mental exhaustion.
This
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 can reduce the quality of their
work
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 and have negative effects on productivity.
Therefore
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, limiting working
hours
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 can give
employees
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 sufficient
time
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 to rest after
work
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. Another reason is that it can help people maintain a better
work
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-life balance. If
employees
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 spend more
time
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 at
work
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, they may have less opportunity to spend
time
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 with their families.
Consequently
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,
this
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 can have a negative impact on their relationships with their family members.
Body paragraph 2
I consider
this
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 to be a positive development for
employees
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 if governments introduce these
laws
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. These
laws
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 may improve
workers
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' performance.
Workers
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 who have enough
time
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 to rest are more likely to be focused and have better well-being.
In addition
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, they may experience less stress and become more satisfied with their
work
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.
As a consequence
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, they may
work
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 with greater motivation, which can improve the quality of their
work
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.
Conclusion
To sum up
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,
laws
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 limiting working
hours
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 are mainly introduced to protect
employees
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 from stress, improve productivity, and maintain their health.
Therefore
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, I strongly believe that
such
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laws
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 can provide a number of advantages for both
workers
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 and employers.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. To make your ideas stronger, add one clear real-life example. For example, say how a nurse, driver, or factory worker may make more mistakes after very long hours.
task response
Your main ideas are clear: health, family time, less stress, and better work. Develop each idea a little more by showing why it matters for both workers and companies.
task response
You say this is good for employers, but most of the body talks about workers. Add a direct point about employers, such as fewer mistakes, less time off work, and better staff stay rates.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: reasons first, then your view, then a short end. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care. You use "therefore", "consequently", and "as a consequence" many times. Use a wider mix, such as "also", "for this reason", and "as a result".
coherence and cohesion
The second body part repeats the idea that rest improves work. You could make the first body part only about reasons for the laws, and make the next part clearly about why the change is good for workers and employers.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences can be joined more smoothly. For example: "Workers who rest well are more focused, less stressed, and more likely to do their work well."
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start and keep the same view to the end.
task response
You cover the key reasons for these laws, including health, work quality, and family life.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main focus, and the ending clearly brings your main points together.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of simple linking words helps the reader see the links between ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental health
  • employee rights
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • absenteeism
  • exploitation
  • social justice
  • adequate
  • leisure
  • recovery
  • stress levels
  • motivation
  • focused
  • structured
  • manageable
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