IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people decided to start their own business instead of working for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
It is becoming increasingly common for
people
Use synonyms
to begin
Linking Words
 their own
business
Use synonyms
 without any working experience in a
company
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 there are many
people
Use synonyms
 who set up their
business
Use synonyms
 without working for other companies , but to achieve success in their
business
Use synonyms
.I discuss the side of pros and cons
as well as
Linking Words
 my conclusion.
Body · 1
There are two main drawbacks to
people
Use synonyms
 who start their own
business
Use synonyms
. The one main problem is to face a crisis
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, unless the
company
Use synonyms
income
Verb problem
has income
show examples
, the
company
Use synonyms
 does not become wealthy.
As a result
Linking Words
,it can lose a lot of
money
Use synonyms
. The second main issue is that citizens must take full responsibility for mistakes.
For example
Linking Words
, if the creator of the
company
Use synonyms
 makes one mistake, it impacts the
company
Use synonyms
's income.
Body · 2
A major benefit of
this
Linking Words
 is that it makes plenty of
money
Use synonyms
 if you know how to start your own
business
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 understand how to manage their
company
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 their employees.
However
Linking Words
, it takes a lot of risks and responsibilities ,
for instance
Linking Words
, how to teach them the discipline of the work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a person who sets up his first
business
Use synonyms
 should have good communication skills , and
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
also
Linking Words
 encourages
people
Use synonyms
 to work
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
team.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, I believe that the advantages of setting up the
business
Use synonyms
 are to make more
money
Use synonyms
 and reputation.
However
Linking Words
, someone does not want to take risks because they may lose their
money
Use synonyms
. I recommend taking the risk and starting your own
business
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 maybe
it
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 will achieve success and bring wealth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your answer in three parts: an intro, a body with pros and cons, and a clear end that shows your view.
content
You show a hope to give both good and bad sides.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: