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Band 6.5

A glance at the four pie charts provided reveals a comparison of the people of the two countries, Yemen and Italy for the three various age groups in two different Periods, in 2000 and foresight for 2050.

A glance at the four pie charts provided reveals a comparison of the people of the two countries, Yemen and Italy for the three various age groups in two different Periods, in 2000 and foresight for 2050.
The graphs show the difference in populations of
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy in 2000 and the future projections in 2050. In general, at the start, the
population
Use synonyms
 of
Yemen
Use synonyms
 consisted mostly
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 young ages. Meanwhile, Italy’s
Use synonyms
middle aged
Use the right word
middle-aged
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 were the majority of its
population
Use synonyms
. In the
future of
Check wording
year
show examples
 2050, the
Use synonyms
middle aged
Use the right word
middle-aged
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will be the most numerous citizens of
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy, even though its
ratio
Use synonyms
 of the full
population
Use synonyms
 would be decreasing for Italy.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000, the young
people
Use synonyms
 of 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 were the highest
population
Use synonyms
 of
Yemen
Use synonyms
, with
Use synonyms
middle aged
Use the right word
middle-aged
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 of 15-59
years
Use synonyms
stood
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
 at the
second,
Linking Words
and the number of old
people
Use synonyms
 over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old was the lowest. The projection shows that the
ratio
Use synonyms
 will
change
Punctuation problem
change,
show examples
 where the presentation of young
people
Use synonyms
 decreases
13.1
Change preposition
from 13.1
show examples
% to 37% in 2050.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
middle aged
Use the right word
middle-aged
show examples
people
Use synonyms
ratio
Use synonyms
 rises 11.4% to 57.3% in 2050, making them the majority of
Yemen
Use synonyms
’s
population
Use synonyms
 in 2050. Changes
also
Linking Words
 happened to Italy’s
population
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the old
people
Use synonyms
 stood at the second highest
population
Use synonyms
 in 2000, their number will
be doubling
Wrong verb form
double
show examples
 to 42.3% in 2050. For Italy,
people
Use synonyms
 in 15-59
Use synonyms
years
Check wording
apply
show examples
had their highest
population
Use synonyms
 for the consecutive
years
Use synonyms
 of 2000 and 2050.
However
Linking Words
, in 2050, their
ratio
Use synonyms
 will be decreasing by 15.4% from 61.6% in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words yemen, population, people, middle, ratio, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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