IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, shopping online is replacing shopping at store. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries,
people
Use synonyms
 love buying
stuffs
Fix the agreement mistake
stuff
show examples
 online rather than going to markets because it saves
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I believe it is a negative development because more
people
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 are getting scammed frequently, and
Linking Words
also it
Correct word order
it also
show examples
 creates a problem for local shops. The main reason for citizens to shop online is
because
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that
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 it is very efficient and can be done within a second. Unlike physical shopping, a person
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not need to go to every store to find an
item
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 they want to purchase. It just needs a mobile and the internet where they can search for the
stuffs
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stuff
show examples
 and order it. Since
,
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apply
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 it will take one or two days to deliver the ordered
item
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, it is more convenient and
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time saving
Use the right word
time-saving
show examples
.
For example
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, in my country, women tend to buy cosmetic items online because it is impossible to search
them
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for them
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 in physical stores.So, they prefer searching
it
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for it
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 online rather than wasting
time
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 in physical stores.
However
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, there are some
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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negative
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
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 going on in society and
citizens
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among citizens
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due to
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increase
Correct article usage
the increase
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of
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in
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 online shopping. There are many victims increasing because of the online store scammers.
For example
Linking Words
, the fraud
people
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 make a fake profile of a store
in
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on
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 social media and advertise
the
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
item
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items
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 that
doesn’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
don’t
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 exist.
People
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 believe those advertisements and pay for the items online and never get them in
real
Replace the word
reality
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.
This
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 makes their life more miserable as they lost their money and didn’t get the
item
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 at the same
time
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the business of local shops will go down
due to
Linking Words
 online shopping and
wont
Correct your spelling
won't
 be able to afford
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 basic needs of life
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 a bigger problem for local
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. In conclusion, I agree that online shopping has made
a
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apply
show examples
life easier by saving
time
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.
However
Linking Words
, it has made
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact
in
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on
show examples
 society by taking
upon
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apply
show examples
on their businesses and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 individuals by making them pay for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 product that doesn’t exist.

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task response
Stay with one clear view. The essay starts with a negative view but ends by saying online shopping saves time. Pick one side and argue it well.
grammar
Fix grammar and form. Use simple present and correct verbs. For example: a person does not need, it will take, they are, won't, etc.
cohesion
Link ideas well. Use clear paragraph order: introduction with stance, body para on pro, body para on con, conclusion.
lexical
Give concrete, brief examples. E.g., 'fake stores on social media', 'local shops suffer' with one or two specifics.
content
The essay shows a real attempt to discuss both sides.
structure
There is a clear structure with introduction and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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