Some people believe that the best way to build a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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It is often argued that narrowing the gap between
rich
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the rich
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and
poor
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the poor
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can be the best method to build a happier society. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
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perspective. The first reason why I hold
this
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view is that
the
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apply
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low-income people may have more motivation and confidence to work hard.
For instance
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, it may reduce unhealthy competition among employees, boost their earning potential, and highlight the importance of mental health at the workplace. If income inequality is growing severely, it may cause an unfriendly career environment.
Furthermore
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, when workers feel hopeless about their financial future, it could negatively impact
overall
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productivity.
On the other hand
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, some may contend that it is not fair for those people who
had pay
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have paid
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lots of effort to gain wealth. One compelling argument is that high-income status may
lack
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indicate a lack
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of ambition, contributing to
a
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apply
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brain drain and
then
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high-class people may relocate to other countries with lower taxes.
However
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, it remains undeniable that a society with smaller income differences provides citizens with a stronger sense of security and happiness. In conclusion, after evaluating both sides of the argument,
it is clear that
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narrowing the gap between
rich
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the rich
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and
poor
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the poor
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can maintain the stability of the country. To achieve
this
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,governments need to do their best to address the wealth disparity.

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task response
Answer the question more fully. You say you strongly agree, but one body part talks about the other side too much.
task response
Add one more clear reason for your view and explain it step by step.
task response
Use a more real and clear example. The example about work is a bit general.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like because, so, but, and for example.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences do not connect well, so check if each sentence follows the last one in a clear way.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to discuss both sides before giving your final view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • income inequality
  • distribution of wealth
  • social cohesion
  • social unrest
  • crime rates
  • economic equality
  • overall well-being
  • health outcomes
  • education outcomes
  • motivation
  • innovation
  • equal opportunities
  • wealth redistribution
  • economic growth
  • productivity
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