Some people believe that the best way to build a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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It is often argued that narrowing the gap between

rich

Correct article usage

the rich

show examples

and

poor

Correct article usage

the poor

show examples

can be the best method to build a happier society. In my opinion, I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

perspective. The first reason why I hold

this

Linking Words

view is that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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low-income people may have more motivation and confidence to work hard.

For instance

Linking Words

, it may reduce unhealthy competition among employees, boost their earning potential, and highlight the importance of mental health at the workplace. If income inequality is growing severely, it may cause an unfriendly career environment.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, when workers feel hopeless about their financial future, it could negatively impact

overall

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productivity.

On the other hand

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, some may contend that it is not fair for those people who

had pay

Wrong verb form

have paid

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lots of effort to gain wealth. One compelling argument is that high-income status may

lack

Verb problem

indicate a lack

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of ambition, contributing to

Correct article usage

apply

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brain drain and

then

Linking Words

high-class people may relocate to other countries with lower taxes.

However

Linking Words

, it remains undeniable that a society with smaller income differences provides citizens with a stronger sense of security and happiness. In conclusion, after evaluating both sides of the argument,

it is clear that

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narrowing the gap between

rich

Correct article usage

the rich

show examples

and

poor

Correct article usage

the poor

show examples

can maintain the stability of the country. To achieve

this

Linking Words

,governments need to do their best to address the wealth disparity.

sammi1747

Nov 22, 2025

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task response

Answer the question more fully. You say you strongly agree, but one body part talks about the other side too much.

task response

Add one more clear reason for your view and explain it step by step.

task response

Use a more real and clear example. The example about work is a bit general.

coherence and cohesion

Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas more clearly with simple words like because, so, but, and for example.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences do not connect well, so check if each sentence follows the last one in a clear way.

task response

You give a clear opinion in the introduction.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task response

You try to discuss both sides before giving your final view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

217 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

income inequality
distribution of wealth
social cohesion
social unrest
crime rates
economic equality
overall well-being
health outcomes
education outcomes
motivation
innovation
equal opportunities
wealth redistribution
economic growth
productivity

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Some people believe that the best way to build a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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