Some people believe that the best way to build a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences between the richest and poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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In recent years, how to create a happier
society
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has become a popular discussion topic. Some
people
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believe that the best
way
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to create a happier
society
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is to reduce the
gap
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between the rich and
poor
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the poor
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. I agree with
this
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view because it can reduce financial pressure and improve
people
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’s quality of life.
Firstly
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, shortening the
wealth
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gap
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can reduce
people
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's financial pressure, making them focus on their improvement. In many societies, poor
people
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have to work very long hours just to keep their basic needs alive. If the
wealth
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is more balanced, these
people
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will have more time and money to pursue their interests or learn new skills.
For example
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, when
people
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are not worried about their survival, they will be more confident and happy because they can pursue their other goals.
Secondly
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, a smaller
wealth
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gap
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can reduce the psychology of comparison. When the
wealth
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gap
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is huge,
people
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often compare their lives with
others
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those of others
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.
For instance
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, the poor see the luxury of the rich
,
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;
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they often feel stressed, jealous, and unhappy,
even
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and even
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hate themselves.
This
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anxiety can cause too many social problems. If the difference between the richest and poorest is small,
people
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will feel more equal and respected.
As a result
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, the whole
society
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will become more
harmony
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harmonious
and less competitive in a negative
way
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.
On the other hand
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, maybe some
people
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will argue that other factors
like
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, like
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public
safety
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safety,
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are more important for happiness. Of course, a
society
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without crime will be happier.
However
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, I believe that safety is related to the economy. If there is a huge
gap
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between the rich and the poor, the crime rate usually becomes higher.
Therefore
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, solving the
wealth
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gap
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is still the most essential
way
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to make a
society
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happier. In conclusion, I agree that reducing the
wealth
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gap
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is the best
way
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to build a happier
society
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. It not only helps
people
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achieve their dreams but
also
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reduces social pressure and improves safety.

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task response
Make your main idea more exact. You say you agree, but you should explain more why this way is the best, not only a good way.
task response
Add one or two more clear and real examples. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few are too general. Try to explain each point more deeply.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words well, but be careful not to repeat the same pattern too much.
coherence and cohesion
A few sentences are not smooth or fully clear. Check sentence connection and word form carefully.
task response
You answer the question clearly and keep the same opinion in the whole essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each body part has one main point.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion, and they match your main view well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • income inequality
  • distribution of wealth
  • social cohesion
  • social unrest
  • crime rates
  • economic equality
  • overall well-being
  • health outcomes
  • education outcomes
  • motivation
  • innovation
  • equal opportunities
  • wealth redistribution
  • economic growth
  • productivity
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