IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Students can work or travel after finishing the school before going to the university.However,working can be useful for adult life.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, taking a gap year after graduating the school
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
either to work or
travel
Punctuation problem
travel,
show examples
 has become prevalent among youngsters.I believe that
although
Linking Words
 being employed and travelling may offer several benefits,applying for higher education
straingt
Correct your spelling
straight
 after school is far more advantageous for the future of the individuals.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
one
Use synonyms
 of the positive sides of having long journeys after graduation
instead
Linking Words
 of getting into tertiary education is that it broadens people's
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 travelling
Use synonyms
one
Punctuation problem
, one
show examples
 encounters a new culture , and
this
Linking Words
ensures
Verb problem
helps
show examples
 to get to know more about other nationalities and enrich their knowledge.
Moreover
Linking Words
, working not only assists
to acquire
Change preposition
in acquiring
show examples
 new skills which might be handy in the long run,but
also
Linking Words
 gives the opportunity to earn enough money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their studies,as it is widely known that in order to continue
studying
Punctuation problem
studying,
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 should pay
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sufficient amount of money as a tuition fee.
However
Linking Words
,there are a number of ramifications of taking a gap year.
One
Use synonyms
 is
degradation
Correct article usage
the degradation
show examples
 of academic skills.It is undeniable that when teenagers are employed ,they stop reading ,forgetting all the information which they gained
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they will face challenges in entrance exams ,
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
even may
Correct word order
may even
show examples
 fail , which can result in not getting a higher education.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there have been incidents when teenagers lose their passion for learning because of
making
Verb problem
apply
show examples
adequate funding.
This
Linking Words
 may impact their career prospects , since without
Correct article usage
a qualification
show examples
qualification
Punctuation problem
qualification,
show examples
 they do not have a chance to be promoted to higher positions.
To conclude
Linking Words
, work and trips are likely to widen outlook and enhance social skills ,though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is much better to apply for educational institutions having
finished
Wrong verb form
finishing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school , as its beneficial sides are
long lasting
Use the right word
long-lasting
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
State your view clearly in the first paragraph and keep it in all parts of your essay.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea and use a topic sentence to show it.
content
Add more detailed examples or facts to back your points.
coherence
Use linking words to show why and compare ideas, and fix punctuation spots for smooth flow.
grammar
Check grammar and word form; fix common mistakes with plural, verb form, and spelling.
content
The essay shows a real effort to discuss both sides of the topic.
structure
There is a clear plan with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: