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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given line graph illustrates the average monthly
price
Use synonyms
 changes of
copper
Use synonyms
,
nickel
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
 at the year 2014. At a glance, it can be seen that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
nickel
Use synonyms
 experienced the highest drop in
price
Use synonyms
 in the twelve
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
 of 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
copper
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 were fluctuating around the year,
while
Linking Words
nickel
Use synonyms
 recorded the highest decrease in
price
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2014. At the beginning of the year 2014,
Use synonyms
nickel
Correct article usage
the nickel
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 was the highest compared to
copper
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
, which were approximately 2 and 1
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. From January to March of 2014,
nickel
Use synonyms
 experienced
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 significant decline in
price
Use synonyms
 and reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
below
Correct word order
price level below
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 level
of
Correct pronoun usage
that of
show examples
zinc
Use synonyms
. Between April and June of 2014, all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three metals recorded came down
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
prices
Use synonyms
 and reached their lowest point in
prices
Use synonyms
 (below
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zero). From July to August, all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three metals experienced
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
show examples
 increase in
prices
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 remained stable in the next months. From September to October
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2014,
again
Correct word order
apply
show examples
all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three metals
recorded
Correct word order
again recorded
show examples
minimal
Correct article usage
a minimal
show examples
 decrease in
prices
Use synonyms
.
Afterward
Change the spelling
Afterwards
show examples
,
copper
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
 were experiencing upward trends in
prices
Use synonyms
 up to December of 2014,
while
Linking Words
nickel
Use synonyms
 was experiencing upward trends in
prices
Use synonyms
 up to November of 2014,
then
Linking Words
 in the
last
Linking Words
month
Punctuation problem
month,
show examples
 no change was made in
Use synonyms
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
nickel
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words price, copper, nickel, zinc, prices with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • volatile
  • stability
  • peak
  • trough
  • increment
  • decrement
  • steady
  • gradual
  • sharp
  • increase
  • decrease
  • month-on-month
  • average monthly change
  • commodity
  • benchmark
  • trend
  • precipitous
  • plateau
  • significant
  • marginal
  • surge
  • dip
  • plummet
  • soar
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