IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Research shows that increasing number of people are now living in mega-cities of more than 20 million inhabitants. Is it this a positive or negative development ?

At present,
according to
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 research, a huge number of
people
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 - more than 20 million - are living in megacities, and
this
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 figure continues to increase significantly. In my opinion,
this
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 trend has both negative and positive aspects.
It is clear that
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 the share of
people
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 living in large
cities
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 is increasing. Many residents from rural areas attempt to move to vibrant metropolitan
cities
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 in order to build a successful career and improve their lifestyle.
Therefore
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, megacities are becoming increasingly crowded and cosmopolitan year by year. One positive impact of population growth in big
cities
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 is that it may support the economic condition by providing a large workforce. Because a great number of employees can increase productivity in different corporations.
As a result
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, the economy might experience considerable growth, which gives
cities
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 a great opportunity to develop in various fields.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 trend
also
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 brings several negative consequences. First of all, the increasing population in megacities leads to a sharp rise in housing prices and rental costs. As more
people
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 move to urban areas, the demand for accommodation grows rapidly, which forces many families to spend a large proportion of their income on housing.
Consequently
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, living in a megacity becomes unaffordable for low-and middle-income residents.
Moreover
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, overcrowding can
also
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 increase unemployment rates, as the number of job seekers becomes higher than the available job opportunities.
This
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 situation may cause financial difficulties and reduce the
overall
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 quality of life for many individuals. In conclusion,
although
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 the rising population in urban areas may bring certain benefits, it is more likely to create serious problems that can negatively affect
people
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's quality of life.

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Task response
State your main stance clearly in the intro and repeat it in the conclusion.
Coherence
Use clearer topic sentences to start each paragraph and link ideas with simple connectives.
Lexical resource
Keep to simple words from the top 100 list and avoid hard words; this matches the task instruction.
Task response
Support ideas with specific facts or examples, not only general statements.
Grammatical range and accuracy
Check grammar and use shorter sentences to improve clarity.
Structure
Clear structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
Task response
Shows balanced view by noting both pluses and minuses.
Coherence
Some good linking words to move between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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