IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that competing with others at
workstation
Check wording
the workplace
show examples
, school and even in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 beneficial,
while
Linking Words
 others think that
cooperation
Use synonyms
 is required to advance as a
nation
Use synonyms
.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 both views bring some benefits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the table,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in my opinion, competition brings out the best
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 an individual,
motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates
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 them to work hard and
recognized
Verb problem
recognises
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 their full potential.
To begin
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 with, in
university
Use synonyms
, we always compete with our
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 studying at the same
university
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 in the exams, assignments, projects,
presentation
Fix the agreement mistake
presentations
show examples
, etc. Doing well in these areas will bring a good
grade
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 in a subject, which
resulted
Wrong verb form
results
show examples
 scholarship and a bright future ahead. Having a good
result
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 in the undergraduate level
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
open
Replace the word
opens
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 doors for
students
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 to pursue their
further
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 education in the best
university
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abroad. Having
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
grade
Use synonyms
 in the undergraduate level is the primary requirement of those universities to secure an offer letter.
Excellent
Correct article usage
An excellent
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result
Use synonyms
 could
result
Use synonyms
 tuition fee waiver and even get the opportunity to work in the
university
Use synonyms
 as
research
Correct article usage
a research
show examples
 assistant, teaching assistant or other posts. All these benefits
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 when we compete with others.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Bangladesh, when
Use synonyms
Grade
Correct article usage
the Grade
show examples
 Point Average (GPA) system was first introduced in 2001 for the Secondary School Certificate (SSC) exam,
that
Change preposition
at that
show examples
 time
handful
Correct article usage
a handful
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amount
Check wording
apply
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of
students
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 (around 100)
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
GPA
Correct article usage
a GPA
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5.00
Change preposition
of 5.00
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 (which is
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
grade
Use synonyms
 a student can achieve) out of 5.00. Because of the healthy
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
show examples
 among
students
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 and respecting the
students
Use synonyms
 who got
GPA
Correct article usage
a GPA
show examples
5
Change preposition
of 5
show examples
, that number reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over 100 thousand in 2024. One of the
contributor
Fix the agreement mistake
contributors
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
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this
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result
Use synonyms
 is healthy completion within
students
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, as a
nation
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, if we
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 to grow, we need
cooperation
Use synonyms
 from our residents. When all the people in a
nation
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 work for the betterment of the country and cooperate with each other,
then
Linking Words
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 quite achievable to make the country into
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 developed country within a very short period.
For example
Linking Words
, Bangladesh and
Singapore
Use synonyms
 were
independence
Replace the word
independent
show examples
 around the same time, but look where
Singapore
Use synonyms
 is right now. In most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects
Add a comma
aspects,
show examples
Singapore
Use synonyms
 is way better than Bangladesh.
This
Linking Words
 is achieved because of the
cooperation
Use synonyms
 of the residents of
Singapore
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
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, we can not neglect the
cooperation
Use synonyms
 which are required to grow as a
nation
Use synonyms
, but the constant competition
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 a student
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 his aspirations.

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grammar
Work on grammar and sentence form to avoid common mistakes.
coherence
Add clear links between ideas and use smoother transitions between paragraphs.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea and end with a tie to the next for a better flow.
content
Give more balanced points for both sides and use more simple, true examples.
accuracy
Check facts and spellings to keep the text correct.
content
The essay shows a clear view that competition can help people.
examples
The writer tries to use real examples (GPA, Singapore).
structure
There is an attempt to discuss both sides of the issue.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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