IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air polution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Some opine that an International car-free
day
Use synonyms
 would reduce pollution
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
on the contrary
Linking Words
, others are of the view that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 alternative solutions can have a higher impact in reducing
emmissions
Correct your spelling
emissions
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and,
Linking Words
hence
Punctuation problem
hence,
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 conclude the debate. Car
emmissions
Correct your spelling
emissions
 account for 56% of air pollutants - other sources of air pollutants are chloro-fluoro carbons from aerosol sprays and
air-conditioner
Fix the agreement mistake
air-conditioners
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, lead from manufacturing industries and other environmental pollutants like pollen, volcanic
emmissions
Correct your spelling
emissions
, etc. If we go by Pareto's theory and focus only on reducing car
emmissions
Correct your spelling
emissions
-
Punctuation problem
,
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 we would significantly be able to reduce our carbon footprint. One international car-free
day
Use synonyms
 will be able to reduce
carbon
Correct article usage
the carbon
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 footprint of
an
Correct article usage
a
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year
Use synonyms
 by 36%.
However
Linking Words
, a conscious effort all
year
Use synonyms
 round, like
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 car pooling, using public transport, replacing diesel with CNG or petrol, resorting to bikes or a brisk walk for short distances would reduce the carbon footprint of
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 by 45%. One International
car-free
Fix capitalization
Car-Free Day
show examples
day
Use synonyms
 would
also
Linking Words
 mean a whole
day
Use synonyms
 of stagnated economy, disruption in the usual walks of life.
An
Correct article usage
A
show examples
Use synonyms
year round
Use the right word
year-round
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 conscious effort,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, would be an
individual led
Use the right word
individual-led
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 choice, where an individual must think about our environmental sustainability above their comfort. Government or global
organisation led
Use the right word
organisation-led
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 environmental policies are important to enforce certain pro-environmental practices. It is
also
Linking Words
 important to initiate the change one home at a time. Efforts from both
cumulatively will
Correct word order
will cumulatively
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 positively impact our environment and
slower
Replace the word
slow
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 the rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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decay.

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task
Task response: You discuss both sides and give a view, but the opening should state your view clearly and be tied to a plan for the essay. Add a clear conclusion that restates your view.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Use clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should say one main idea. Use linking words (for example, 'but', 'however', 'also', 'in addition') to show how ideas connect.
lexis
Lexis and accuracy: Check spellings (emissions, pollution). Use simple and exact words. Do not over use long phrases. Keep data simple and true.
grammar
Grammar: Watch punctuation and small errors. Use periods to end sentences. Capitalize proper nouns and start of sentences. Use simple present for facts.
content
The essay shows effort to discuss both sides and to give a plan for the future.
evidence
It uses some numbers to back points and mentions year-round actions.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transportation
  • public transportation
  • bicycling
  • walking
  • reduce emissions
  • vehicle exhaust
  • traffic congestion
  • urban planning
  • environmental impact
  • behavioral change
  • carbon footprint
  • government regulations
  • awareness campaigns
  • air quality
  • pollutants
What to do next:
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