IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In recent years, a growing number of
people
Use synonyms
 who have
deceases
Verb problem
died
show examples
 tend to traditional medicines and
treatment
Use synonyms
 rather than visiting their usual doctor. I personally believe that society should trust only professionals who have
diploma
Correct article usage
a diploma
show examples
 and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
incredible
experience
Use synonyms
 in the area they treat
people
Use synonyms
. All
treatment
Use synonyms
 and medicine should
provide
Wrong verb form
be provided
show examples
Use synonyms
doctors
Change preposition
by doctors
show examples
 in
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
If
people
Use synonyms
 have
advices
Correct your spelling
advice
 from
people
Use synonyms
 who
called
Wrong verb form
call
show examples
 themselves
doctors
Use synonyms
 without
experience
Use synonyms
 and
degree
Correct article usage
a degree
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 particular area, it can
caused
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
numerous other difficulties with health
.
Check wording
difficulties.
show examples
For instance
Linking Words
, there are
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of cases when
especially
Rephrase
apply
show examples
eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
people
Use synonyms
 believe
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those who could provide even more
demage
Correct your spelling
damage
 to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 health conditions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some individuals who called themselves "
doctors
Use synonyms
" could recommend a medicine for eye redness
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 could become blind. After that, even if
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
 generation would complain about the
Use synonyms
treatment
Punctuation problem
treatment,
show examples
 no one could protect or compensate
these
Change preposition
for these
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of problems with scammers. Professional
doctors
Use synonyms
 from the government should have passed the test and had an incredible
experience
Use synonyms
 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
magnificent marks before they could provide
treatment
Use synonyms
 and give some sort of consultation. That's the main reason why the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 who wish to have an excellent service and
treatment
Use synonyms
 would prefer to be part of professionals rather than others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some individuals could have even greater
treatment
Use synonyms
 with a private
clinics
Fix the agreement mistake
clinic
show examples
 where
doctors
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant knowledge,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
experience
Use synonyms
 and
master's
Correct article usage
a master's
show examples
 degree. In conclusion, I
srtongly
Correct your spelling
strongly
 believe that society should not take a risk with unknown professionals,
instead
Linking Words
 of
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
appointment
Correct article usage
an appointment
show examples
 with
specialist
Correct article usage
a specialist
show examples
 who can help without awful consequences.

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task response
Your answer shows a clear view, but some ideas are not linked well to the question. Try to discuss both sides or give stronger reasons.
coherence
Break long sentences into smaller parts. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and use simple linking words to join ideas.
lexis
Use more correct words and spell words right. Check common mistakes like disease, elderly, advice, damage.
grammar
Keep to simple words and be precise. Do not repeat the same idea in many lines.
content
The writer shows a clear view on the issue.
coherence
Some examples are given to support points.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
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